Life can be so confusing and frustrating. At least lately it has run concurrent with Maine’s ever-changing weather patterns. You might see snow covered roads one day while enjoying the serenity of the falling snow. Then next day, you are swerving to avoid the potholes that appear out of nowhere. Unfortunately, I do not always see the potholes until it is too late. Then my car pays the price.
Life’s potholes can do the same; you can hit one, and it can throw your internal suspension and alignment out of order. Nothing like being “out of whack,” whether it is physically, emotionally, or spiritually. But how does one make the most of the potholes that show up in life?
According to mental health experts, “Potholes of life” represent unexpected setbacks, obstacles, and personal, professional, or emotional struggles that disrupt your journey. Examples of potholes: losing a job, a relationship ending, death of a friend or loved one, set back at work, etc.
We may try to avoid all or any potholes. However, there are times when we hit one unawares. It can be jarring. As I was researching this topic, the nature of these potholes is they are often unexpected. These challenges represent moments that threaten our spirit, cause distress, or stop us completely in our tracks.
What are some key aspects of this pothole of life metaphor?
- Unexpected and unavoidable: These challenges can be hard to see in advance, and often can cause damage, loss of momentum, injuries, or personal distress.
- Opportunities for growth: While these challenges are frustrating, they can force a necessary pause to re-evaluate, promote resilience, and offer a new perspective.
- Need for action: When hitting this “pothole” one must stop for repairs. This could mean fixing a mistake, seeking help, or changing a habit.
We are going to face some “potholes” and rough patches in our life. We need to learn to embrace them for what they are – a chance to learn, move forward, and gain wisdom. It’s not just about the destination, but about the journey. This theme, or philosophy, of journey over destination was popularized by Dan Millman, who wrote that the journey is what brings us happiness, not the destination.
Potholes can be seen as bad habits that we created in ourselves.
Lessons to handling the “potholes:”
Resilience and growth: Challenges are not meant to be permanent. Through facing these “potholes” that we can build our endurance, character, and strength.
Mindfulness and preparation: We can become better at watching the road. We can use mindfulness to navigate and avert some of the potholes.
Acceptance and action: We got to acknowledge the situation we are in, we cannot live in denial, pretend it did not happen. We got to pause, evaluate, discern corrective and effective action.
Seeking support: Friends, family, mentors, and community can help provide support during personal tough times.
Jo Hall, executive coach, helps support people going through tough times. Although she wrote that she does not enjoy their suffering, she does enjoy being able to offer a safe space for people to explore what is really going on for them.
As a coach, Hall helps them find that glimmer of hope and sense of accomplishment when they act over things that they can control.
“We can all be forgiven for losing perspective and thinking we don’t have any control when we hit an unexpected pothole in life,” wrote Hall, “most of us know what that’s like, don’t we?”
Jason Tharp wrote that hitting a bump in the road – both in our travels and in life – can feel like a jolt that could make us question where we are headed. Tharp is a brain cancer survivor turned keynote speaker.
Can you imagine being hit by the news that you have brain cancer? He did not let his experience derail him. He has taken the lessons he learned, the wisdom he gained and founded an organization called Beyond Hope Project, that publishes a weekly newsletter. It includes real stories and aims to kindle the flame of hope.
Shamar M., a blogger on Medium.com, wrote, “Our lives can be running smoothly, we can be very content with everything and suddenly something rocks our world.”
He added that potholes come in all shapes and sizes, regardless of whether that can still do damage to the tires the same way negative situation can do damage to our mental health.
Tharp cautions us about the “Why me?” trap. He told himself, “Maybe I deserved this,” because then he did not really like himself. He is in a better place and has grown to love who he is. From growth comes insight, wrote Tharp.
As I was researching the topic of “potholes in life,” I came across find some terrific and wise advice about life in unexpected places. One of the articles that intrigues me is that I found one the website of the Addiction Training Institute.
According to the Addiction Training Institute, unexpected challenges can throw us off balance. It could be a sudden career shift, a personal loss, or unforeseen obstacles. We can learn to adapt as this essential to maintaining our resilience and mental wellbeing.
Some tips include:
- Acknowledge and accept the situation. Practice acceptance, avoid the “why me?” thinking.
- Cultivate Emotional awareness. Identify the emotions that you are feeling, whether they are frustration, sadness, or fear. Create a space for mindfulness, i.e., deep breathing.
- Break down the problem. A big problem can feel very overwhelming. How can you break the challenge/problem into smaller, more manageable steps? Then set small, actionable steps for resolving the problem.
- Build a support system. Seek connections from trusted individuals. Consider professional help.
- Focus on what you can control. This will help you control your responses. Shift focuses on what is under your control; this will empower you to move forward.
- Learn and adapt. Ask what you can learn from this challenge. Develop new skills. Reframe your perspective. Be open to change.
- Practice Self Compassion. Treat yourself with kindness not criticism. Be gentle. Celebrate small wins.
The potholes in the roads of life’s journey can be jarring, frustrating and seem quite unfair. Yet they can help us to pause, reflect, and choose a different route. Uncertainty can help us reset. We are not going to avoid all the bumps or potholes. We can learn to be more aware. Instead of “why me?” ask, “what I can learn from this?” I know it is easier said than done. Be kind to yourself, and celebrate the small wins.
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy. —Dale Carnegie
Resources:
Image. Image by brgfx on Freepik retrieved on 2/15/2026 from https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/cartoon-mud-puddle-illustration_416161895.htm
Addiction Training Institute. “7 Strategies for Navigating Unexpected Challenges.” Retrieved on 2/16/2026 from https://addictionstraininginstitute.com/7-strategies-for-navigating-unexpected-challenges/#:
Hall, Jo. “Navigating Life’s Potholes.” 4/23/2025. Retrieved on 2/15/2026 from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/navigating-lifes-potholes-jo-hall-ahc8e/
M., Shamar. “Life is Like a Pothole in the Road.” 4/27/2025. Originally posted on 1/21/2021. Retrieved on 2/15/2026 from https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/life-is-like-a-pothole-in-the-road-3b5ac0d2b1d7
Tharp, Jason. “Life’s Potholes and the Journey Ahead.” 11/19/2024. Retrieved on 2/15/2016 from https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/lifes-potholes-journey-ahead-jason-tharp-iusqc/
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