Curious and Creative

Category: psychology

  • Our Shadows Can Betray Us and Impact Our relationships

    March 14, 2025

    Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung first coined the term ”shadow” to describe aspects of our psyches that have been relegated to the unconscious. Jung believed that our shadow selves contain repressed emotions, thoughts, desires, insecurities, and fears. He theorized every individual has an inherent tendency to project their own unconscious thoughts, feelings, and motivations onto others, often as a defense mechanism.

    Today, psychologists’ theories have evolved since Jung. They refer to these shadows as psychological blind spots. This is an essential concept in understanding cognitive biases and how they influence our behavior, relationships, and decision-making processes, reported the California Learning Resource Network.

    “Psychological blind spots are those personal characteristics that we do not want to recognize,” wrote Jennifer Delgado, adding, the problem with psychological blind spots is that we assume these biases as trustworthy, thinking that we are immune to them, so we deceive ourselves.

    According to Ron Passfield, Ph.D, blind spots can negatively impact every facet of our lives including decisions and relationships as they are often due to cognitive biases and personal defense mechanisms. Additionally, our blind spots often manifest in our reactivity to stimuli whatever form they take.

    Interestingly, Jung believed that our shadow selves are not evil or negative but a natural part of human nature.

    According to a 2002 study by Princeton University social psychologists, we are unable to see our blind spots or recognize the impact of our biases and limitations on our judgment, behavior, and decisions. However, we do not have problems to recognize them in others, but we may have motivated ignorance to protect the image that we have formed of ourselves.

    According to the California Learning Resource Network, there are a combination of factors that emerge to form blind spots:

    • Unconscious biases
    • Defense mechanisms
    • Emotional repression
    • Lack of self-awareness
    • Cognitive dissonance

    Next week, I will delve into the ways that our blind spots emerge. Our blind spots can manifest in various parts of our lives: relationships, professional lives, and our self perception. I will touch upon these in upcoming blog posts in the next several weeks.

    As we become aware of our blind spots, we face them and can break free of their influence. Psychologists and counselors suggest that we can acknowledge our blind spots in several different ways including pursuing self reflection, seek feedback and constructive criticism, practice mindfulness, self-compassion and seek professional help.

    Today, I will leave you with this quote:

    “Do not believe everything you think, said Allan Lokos, author of Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living. “Thoughts are just that – thoughts. You cannot control the results, only your actions.” 

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 3/14/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/smiling-person-crowd-concept_6625250.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=36&uuid=580b87f2-77fd-4880-af42-698f2536661f&query=psychological+blind+spots

    CLRN Team. “What is a blind spot in Psychology?”  11/18/2024. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from https://www.clrn.org/what-is-a-blind-spot-in-psychology.

    Delgado, Jennifer. “Psychological Blind Spots: What you do not know about you weakens you.” Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from https://psychology-spot.com/psychological-blind-spots/

    Lokkos, Allan. Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living. Penguin Publishing Group. NY, NY ©2012

    Nguyen, Joseph. “Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking is the Beginning & End of Suffering.” Full audio book. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from ‘Don’t Believe Everything You Think’ Full-Length Audiobook (From The Author) – YouTube

    Oppong, Thomas. “Beware of Your Shadow Self-Carl Jung: On Accepting Yourself completely.” Medium.com 5/3/2023 Retrieved from Beware of Your Shadow Self — Carl Jung | by Thomas Oppong | Personal Growth | Medium

    Passfield, Ron. “Identifying our Blind Spots Through Observation and Reflection.” GrowMindfulness.com. January 25,2022. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from https://growmindfulness.com/identifying-our-blind-spots-through-observation-and-reflection/

    Tan, Emily. “Uncovering the Meaning of Blind Spots in Psychology.” Listen-Hard.com 2/8/2024 updated. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from Uncovering the Meaning of Blind Spots in Psychology – Listen-Hard

  • Do You Fear Failing?

    March 7, 2025

    Do you feel drained and fatigued? Do you have low energy? Are you dissatisfied with life? You may not realize it, but what you’re feeling are effects of fear on your body and mind.

    Fear is one of the most powerful forces in life, wrote Theo Tsaousides, Ph.D. Fear affects the decisions you make, the actions you take, and the outcomes you achieve. Fear also comes in different forms. If you are seeking success, the fear of failure could have the most direct impact on you.

    Dr. Diane Hamilton described fear at its core as a reluctance to delve into the unknown. Fear is defined as being overly cautious or reluctant to act to avoid consequences.  The reasons could range from the ridiculous to deadly serious. It includes fear of failure, fear of making life altering changes, fear of looking stupid or ignorant, and fear of reexperiencing something negative from childhood.

    Did you know that there is a word for the fear of failure?  It’s called “atychiphobia,” and according to the Cleveland Clinic, atychiphobiais an intense fear of failure. There are three key points about the fear of failure: it has a paralyzing effect, it involves emotional distress, and it brings procrastination.As the anxiety and anticipation of potential failure can be more debilitating than the aftermath of a mistake, it often leads to avoidance behaviors and missed opportunities to learn and grow. 

    The constant worry about failing can prevent people from taking risks, trying new things, and holding us back from achieving goals.A fear of failing can often make us feel worse than actual failure. Personal experiences with failure can cause us to develop an intense fear of failure in the future.

    Researchers have found that the fear of failure is multifaceted. According to Dr. Tsaousides, there are different types of consequences that we fear we will suffer, should we fail. Each time we experience the fear of failure, it may be for a different reason. Some of the reasons included, but not limited to, is the belief that failure is embarrassing, you don’t have what it takes to succeed, you are stuck, you will let people down, or that you are irrelevant.

    According to the Cleveland Clinic, fear of failure is self-fulfilling. Those that fear failure might put off tasks or important decisions, due to an anticipation of potential negative outcomes.

    According to Dr. Tsaousides, fear of failure is the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral reaction to the negative consequences you anticipate for failing to achieve a goal.

    Behavioral scientists, psychologists, and counselors encourage us to not shy away from fear, but instead, move toward risk. From my personal experience, that is easier said than done. Fear of failure is a psychological barrier that prevents people from taking risks.

    Podcast host Paul Colaianni of “The Overwhelmed Brain” has said that the fear of failing can be imagined as so traumatic and painful to some, that they literally do nothing instead. What does failure mean for you? If you define it, you might have a better understanding what we really fear.

    Our natural inclination to fear might be to pull away and avoid facing the fear. I found this  quote from Marc Jabobs: “Curiosity is what draws you of your comfort zone; fear is what draws you back in.”

    Jacobs makes some key points: curiosity is a positive motivator and driving force. But fear is a restraint. It holds you back from venturing too far of the comfort zone. There is an internal struggle to stay safe and our desire to explore.  We need to find a balance.

    “Fear of failure keeps you safe, but small,” wrote Dr. Tsaousides.

    Psychologist Dr. Lisabeth Saunders Metlock points out that our mistakes and failures are gifts, gems, and guideposts in our learning and growth as people. Rather than shy away, we need to instead embrace failures, mistakes, screw ups and shortcomings, because they not only make us uniquely who we are, they also teach us powerful lessons.

    Dr. Metlock shared a few ways of changing our perspectives:

    • Mistakes can teach us what we really want and help us reevaluate our lives. Mistakes and failures can help us focus on issues and problems that take us off track.
    • Mistakes and failures give us a reality check. When we experience consequences of our actions, we can get a clear message of what efforts are working and what efforts are not.
    • Mistakes teach us to accept ourselves that we can be flawed and be loved. Mistakes also teach us about responsibility.
    • Admitting and facing our mistakes and failures can take us straight to the hear of our fears.

    “Taking responsibility for a failure may not be fun. But the act of doing so points out what we can do differently next time,” wrote Dr. Saunders Metlock.

    As my research continues, I have found that we cannot beat a fear, failure, or mistake until we face it. We cannot face a fear until we can define it. I have discovered that since beginning this blog writing journey curiosity has indeed become antidote to my fears and anxieties. My curiosity has grown and evolved. I noticed a level of decreased anxiety. My personal experience is that curiosity can indeed be a counterforce to my fear of failure.

    In my journey to learn and be curious, I came across a terrific interviews was from the radio show “On Being,” with host Krista Tippet and author Elizabeth Gilbert. The interview took place in September 2016. While the interview was eight years ago, the wisdom that was shared touched my heart.

    “I think curiosity is our friend that teaches us how to become ourselves, said Gilbert, “and it’s a very gentle friend, and a very forgiving friend, and a very constant one.”

    Fear can cause us to make terrible decisions about of our lives, what we see, and how we react. Life can be a risky affair. It is important to step outside of ourselves, develop a friendly curiosity of others.

    I am going to dig out my copy of Big Magic and reread it this year. From Gilbert’s book Big Magic, “Living a life is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear.” I am going to challenge myself to continue living by curiosity, and less by fear. One way that I will continue to do that is writing this blog, Curious and Creative.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 3/7/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/search?format=search&last_filter=page&last_value=2&page=2&query=failure&type=vector#uuid=d8abbd63-c53b-44cf-8445-ac0ea62fb19f

    Colaianni, Paul. The Overwhelmed Brain: “When the fear of failure stops you from doing anything and everything.” Episode 392. 2/21/2021. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from in

    Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22555-atychiphobia-fear-of-failure

    Gilbert, Elizabeth. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. Riverhead Books, NY. ©2015.

    Hamilton, Diane. “What is Fear and How Does It Affect Curiosity and Innovation?”. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.futurelearn.com/info/courses/developing-curiosity/0/steps/156554

    Knight, Dr. Terralon Cannon. “Tools to Overcome Fear of Failure.” TEDxUniversity of South Africa Women.  Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTHXa8OzzZs.

    Samit, Jay. “It’s Time to Disrupt You!” TEDx Augusta. 2017. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1SlbTZyaWE

    Saunders Medlock, Ph.D. Lisabeth. “Don’t Fear Failure:  Nine Powerful  Lessons We Can Learn From  Our Mistakes.” 1/4/2015. Retrieved on 2/24/2025 from Don’t Fear Failure: Nine Powerful Lessons We Can Learn From Our Mistakes | HuffPost Life

    Tippett, Krista, host. “Choosing Curiosity Over Fear”. On-Being. September 5, 2016. Daily Good. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.dailygood.org/story/1376/choosing-curiosity-over-fear-on-being/.

    Tsaousides, Theo, Ph.D. “Why Fear of Failure Can Keep You Stuck.” Psychologytoday.com 12/27/2017. Retrieved on 2/24/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201712/why-fear-failure-can-keep-you-stuck?msockid=24f8ebd9437164501298fedc42c365fc

  • Curiosity Enhances the Meaning of Life

    February 27, 2025

    Many people have pondered the meaning of life. You may have yourself.

    I am not sure if I have asked what the meaning of life is. Rather, I have questioned the meaning of certain things that I have done in my life. If I have been in a negative frame of mind, I have often asked myself, why did I waste my time doing that? What did I get out of that experience? I will tell you from experience, my reply was often not very helpful. I would end spiraling into rumination. Let me share from experience, rumination is not helpful at all.

    Psychologist Julian Frazier wrote recently in a blog that many may ask what is the meaning of life, but they often fail to answer what is the meaning of life because they do not understand “meaning.”

    Meaning is something you feel, not that you use logic, rationality, or reason to deduce, wrote Frazier. Added, those who earnestly ask, “what is the meaning of life?” have expressed that they feel that their life is not.

    How does curiosity play a role in the meaning of life?  Psychologists view curiosity as a life force, vital to happiness, intellectual growth, and well-being wrote Marilyn Price-Mitchell, Ph.D. a developmental psychologist.

    Research has linked curiosity to a wide range of important adaptive behaviors, including tolerance of anxiety and uncertainty, positive emotions, humor, playfulness, out-of-box thinking, and a noncritical attitude—all attributes associated with healthy social outcomes.

    Frazier commented that our brains really like it when things make sense. The feeling of things making sense can vary from relief, security, and satiety to awe or elation. However, if we are pondering questions like what the meaning of life. our brains notice when things do not line up or do not make sense. If we are struggling to make sense of things, this stresses our brains out.

    It is up to us, wrote Frazier, to produce a solution that makes sense to our brains. It is important to become the author of your story. Find your voice, and tell your story. It does not matter what story we tell our brains, even if it is fictional, as long as it helps us our brains make sense.

    Through the many articles that I have read and videos that I have watched, I have concluded that using our curiosity is important element. We can use our curiosity  to create our own story can help us find meaning as Frazier suggested.

    Meaning is only ever found and embodied in the present, wrote Frazier.

    I may not fully agree that meaning can only be found in the present, as I have many wonderful memories and experiences that are meaningful. Perhaps, it is in the present that we attach meaning, so therefore we are able to recall them better.

    I have noticed that as humans, we can often skim across the surface of the present, seeking out meaning and happiness beyond today. We mistakenly rush through our days to find answers that may be right in front of us. I know that I can get hung up on the “not yet” or I will be happy when… or I can start when…, etc. Perhaps that is what we are missing out on. I have learned recently that if I am curious about something, I am more focused in the now, the present. I am not anxious, not worried about the future.

    Psychologist Todd Kashdan noted, if we are going to find a meaningful purpose or calling in life, chances are good we will find it in something that unleashes our curiosity. Our curiosity could lead us to meaningful interests, hobbies, and passions.

    “The greater the range and depth of our curiosity, the more opportunities we must experience things that inspire and excite us, from minute details to momentous occasions,” wrote Kashdan.

    Emily Campbell highlighted six ways that curiosity has been linked with psychological, emotional, social, and even health benefits. The second benefit is curious people are happier. Campbell noted research has shown that curiosity is associated with higher levels of positive emotions, lower levels of anxiety, more satisfaction with life, and greater psychological well being.

    Kashdan said curiosity is the entry point to many of life’s greatest sources of meaning and satisfaction.

    Below are ideas that can help you become more curious:

    • Reignite the love for play. The nature of play can build interest and curiosity in what we are doing in the present. Seek out your inner child’s wonder.
    • Search for the novel in your day. Pay attention to the minute details, such as ripples in a puddle, snowflakes on the window. Take the time to look with fresh eyes.
    • Stay in the present moment when talking with others. Ask questions and listen with care. Be interested in the other person.
    • Seek to make new friends. Meeting new people can help us discover unrecognized aspects of ourselves.
    • Try something again that you have not tried since you were a kid. Wipe your mind off expectations.

    Curiosity can enhance your life. Open up your mind, ignite your curiosity.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 2/21/2025 <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/mental-health-concept-illustration_382536411.htm”>Image by storyset on Freepik</a>

    Campbell, Emily. “Six Surprising Benefits of Curiosity.” 9/24/2015. Greater Good magazine. Retrieved on 2/21/2025 from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_surprising_benefits_of_curiosity

    Frazier, Ph.D., Julian. “A Psychologist’s Unpopular Opinion about the ‘Meaning-of-life.’ Medium.com posted on 1/26/2025. Retrieved on 2/21/2025 from https://medium.com/@julian.frazier.phd/a-psychologists-unpopular-opinion-about-the-meaning-of-life-82480297ca22

    Kashdan, Todd/ Experience Life. “5 Benefits of Curiosity. Discover how cultivating an inquiring mind can help you lead a happier, healthier life.” 12/1/2019. Retrieved on 2/21/2025 from https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/the-power-of-curiosity/

    Price-Mitchelle, Ph.D. Marily. “Curiosity: The Heart of Lifelong Learning. How to Nurture a child’s hungry mind.” April 13, 2015. Psychology Today. Retrieved on 2/21/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-moment-of-youth/201504/curiosity-the-heart-of-lifelong-learning

  • Curiosity Enhances Our Connections with Others

    2/21/2025

    Curiosity acts as a powerful catalyst. Curiosity, like other skills that power our emotional intelligence, is a practice wrote Erin Walsh. This is the kind of curiosity that connects us.

    Curiosity and wonder can also foster creativity, improve well-being, and deepen interpersonal relationships, wrote Nicole Whiting, MA. Curiosity and wonder are intertwined psychological states that enrich our mental and emotional lives and enhance engagement with the world.

    However, recent studies have shown that, as humans, we are experiencing loneliness at a higher rate. Harvard has conducted the longest in-depth study of Adult Development. It has studied adult physical and mental well-being. Harvard’s findings have shown that relationships not only make us happier, but keep us healthier too.

    In a world that is more divisive, with demands of remote work and working longer hours, people have struggled to foster feelings of belonging. Feeling of loneliness is taking a big toll on our well-being, noted Davis.

    According to Whiting, curiosity and wonder make our social interactions richer by helping us form deeper bonds. People who are curious tend to engage more meaningfully, while trying to understand others’ views.

    Davis wrote that we could decrease our loneliness and fulfill our need to belong by enhancing and increasing our curiosity.

    “When you show curiosity and you ask questions, and find out something interesting about another person, people disclose more, share more, and they return the favor, asking questions of you,” said Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., director of George Mason University’s Well-Being Lab.

    According to Kashdan, it is better to be interested in others than interesting.

    Curiosity can connect us with others noted Walsh and Kashdan. Curiosity has been found to expand our empathy, strengthen relationships, increase collaboration, and improve wellbeing.

    Davis said curiosity leads to opportunities to connect with others and find a sense of belonging. At the conclusion of a three-week course, Davis concluded that students enjoyed the training, they most look forward to connecting with each other even more during the live weekly calls. They yearned for more time to connect with one another.

    Curiosity is an initiative-taking facet of wonder according to Davis. It can spur us to learn more, propel us to become more engaged in new experiences and seek novel perspectives. Through these new experiences, we can connect with others in enriching and meaningful ways.

    It is important to encourage this kind of curiosity. However, we need to be aware of and acknowledge any personal biases and assumptions that we have could shut down our curiosity Walsh. It is also important to move towards and embrace our feelings and emotions, even painful ones. If you can feel your own sadness or grief, you may be more open to and curious about the grief of others.

    Here are a few ways to use curiosity to enhance our connections:

    • Show that you care by showing a genuine interest in others; this can help ease jitters of others.
    • Ask open-ended questions that elicit detailed responses and encourage a deeper level of conversation. This can encourage others to open. If you are not used to doing this, it will take practice. Be patient.
    • Practice active listening. Pause. Take a moment to take in their reply. Perhaps ask a follow-up question. Be genuinely interested.
    • Be willing to be vulnerable. People will respond to this and may reply by sharing their own vulnerabilities.
    • Invite people to share their personal stories. Seek out people who have different experiences than your own. Let your curiosity take the wheel.

    Showing a person that you care about is crucial to gaining their trust and interest advised Notas.

    Resources:

    Image by freepik

    Davis, Jeffrey, M.A. “Curiosity: A Surprising Key to Belonging. How Wonder can lead you toward more authentic connections.” March 20,2023. Retrieved on 2/16/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tracking-wonder/202303/curiosity-a-surprising-key-to-belonging

    Kashdan, Todd.

    Notas, Nick. “Embrace Curiosity and Connect with More People.” Retrieved on 2/16/2025 from https://www.nicknotas.com/blog/embrace-curiosity-and-connect-with-more-people/

    Walsh, Erin. “The Connective Power of Curiosity: Why Getting Curious is Key to Our Person and Collective Wellbeing.” Spark & Stitch Institute. Posted 12/5/2023. Retrieved on 2/16/2025 from https://sparkandstitchinstitute.com/the-connective-power-of-curiosity/#:~:text=One%20study%20demonstrated%20that%20curious,emotional%20intelligence%2C%20is%20a%20practice.

    Whiting, Nicole, MA. “The Case for Curiosity: How a wonder-driven life enhances well-being.” May 16, 2024. Retrieved on 2/16/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-limits/202404/the-case-for-curiosity#:~:text=Deepening%20Interpersonal%20Connections%2C%20Enhancing%20Well-Being%2C

  • Curiosity Can Change Your Brain Health for the Better

    February 6, 2025

    image from freepik.com

    Did you know that curiosity can change your brain health for the better?

    “Curiosity is a crucial aspect of managing your mind, which is the driving life force,” stated Dr. Caroline Leaf, a clinical neuroscientist.

    Research has found that curiosity plays a key role in stimulating brain activity. It helps form new neural connections. It also enhances learning and memory by activating the brain’s reward system and promoting dopamine release. Due to these changes, curiosity can increase your well-being and longevity.

    Curiosity is such a basic component of our nature, that we are oblivious to its pervasiveness in our lives stated neuroscientists Celeste Kidd and Benjamin Hayden who authored the psychological study “The Psychology and Neuroscience of Curiosity.”

    Interest in the impact of curiosity has spread, and more research is being conducted on curiosity and its impact on our brains. Other researchers have found that curiosity plays a fundamental role for learning and memory. Matthias Gruber and Charan Ranganath, researchers at UC Davis, summarized that the neural mechanisms that stimulate curiosity and its effect on memory are poorly understood.

    In 2014 psychology researchers conducted and published a study on curiosity at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia. One of the leading researchers, Dr. Amy Reichelt, wrote that stimulating curiosity is important across all ages, from schools to the workplace to senior living and elder care. These research findings will implicate areas such as medicine and education.

    UNSW study findings revealed three things:

    First, when people are curious to learn the answer to a question, they are better at learning the added information.

    Second, when curiosity is stimulated, there is an increase in hippocampus activity. The hippocampus is the region of the brain associated with memory.

    Third, when curiosity is stimulated there is increased activity in regions of the brain that are associated with reward.

    “Asking questions and being curious about everything that is your life is absolutely key and fundamental to how we function as humans,” stated Leaf, who added that curiosity helps you move forward, grow, improve your autonomy, and develop a deeper and richer understanding of yourself.

    My personal research findings reveal that nurturing a habit on inquiry will help keep your mind sharp as we age, reducing cognitive decline. I am learning more about neuroscience and how our brains react biologically to curious stimulation. Here is to be cultivating your curiosity each day. It will do your brain well.

    Resources:

    “Chasing Curiosity as We Age.” Adlen Network. Posted October 1, 2024. Retrieved on 2/2/2025 from https://www.alden.com/chasing-curiosity-as-we-age/#:~:text=It%20promotes%20cognitive%20health.,is%20critical%20for%20mental%20health.

    Grazer, Brian and

    Gruber MJ, Ranganath C. “How Curiosity Enhances Hippocampus-Dependent Memory: The Prediction, Appraisal, Curiosity, and Exploration.” (PACE) Framework. Trends Cogn Sci. 2019 Dec;23(12):1014-1025. doi: 10.1016/j.tics.2019.10.003. Epub 2019 Nov 7. PMID: 31706791; PMCID: PMC6891259.

    Kidd, Celeste, and Benjamin Hayden. “The Psychology and Neuroscience of Curiosity” Neuron, Volume 88, Issue 3, 449 – 460. Retrieved on 2/2/2025 from https://www.cell.com/action/showPdf?pii=S0896-6273%2815%2900767-9

    Leaf, Dr. Carol. “Surprising Benefits of Curiosity.” Podcast episode #554. Retrieved on 1/31/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUQKqLFAk4g

    Leaf, Dr. Carol. Retrieved on 1/31/2025 from https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/the-surprising-benefits-of-curiosity

    Reichelt, Amy. “Curiosity Changes the Brain to Boost Memory and Learning.” Posted on October 3, 2014. Retrieved on 2/2/2025 from https://www.unsw.edu.au/newsroom/news/2014/10/curiosity-changes-the-brain-to-boost-memory-and learning#:~:text=The%20curious%20mind%20is%20a%20vortex%20for%20information&text=It%20seems%20that%20in%20the,the%20time%2C%E2%80%9D%20she%20said.

  • How do you ask questions?

    January 16, 2025

    I once heard that there is no such thing as a “dumb” question, but one that is not asked. Many people hold back from asking questions, because they are afraid to look foolish or be embarrassed. If a question is in your mind, it might be one that others have as well. Ask the question.

    In my last blog, I asked my readers, “Do you ask questions?” In this blog, I am focusing on how you ask questions. The way you ask questions will give you the direction to the possible answers. How we ask questions of others and ourselves impacts and affects communication. I have learned that lesson many times over, particularly as a parent.

    As a child, my younger son did not ask “why” questions as often as he asked “how” questions. He wanted to know how to do things. If I asked if he cleaned his room, an overwhelming feeling of “where do I begin?”  would wash over him. Rather, if he could pick up the towels in his room and take them to the laundry room; he was able to do that.

    My younger son is now 26 years old. He was diagnosed twenty years ago with Asperger’s syndrome, more commonly known now as autism spectrum disorder. Over the preceding years, he was also diagnosed with audio processing challenges and attention deficit disorder (inattentive type), which can cause some communication challenges.

    Over the last two decades, I have learned to phrase my questions better, so I can help my son understand what I am asking of him. I am learning to speak more slowly. Admittedly, in the rush of the day, I am still working on slowing down, calling out his name and waiting for a response before asking a question or listing things to do. I am working to reduce what we call in our home, “drive by instructions.” I admit it some communication habits are hard to break without practice. I have learned that how we phrase questions can matter.

    I would like you to take a few moments to read the following scenario. Take your time. Here is a scenario:  You are in a tight financial position this month, as an unexpected expense came about. You’re stressed and finances are spread thinly.  If you asked yourself, “what should I do?” How would your mind process an answer? You may draw a blank, or panic, or just stare at a computer screen. Instead of asking yourself, “what should I do?”  Ask yourself “what could I do,” or,  “How am I doing now?”

    Phrasing questions may impact your brain’s information, an internet search, or something else from other individuals and sources. Take the time to consider the types of questions that you want to ask.

    Writer J. Robert Parkinson once heard a talk radio guest comment, “ask the wrong question, and you’ll get the wrong answer.” Parkinson wrote that although no one deliberately seeks a wrong answer, you might get one, if you do not give enough forethought to what question you want to ask.

    Parkinson suggested asking open-ended questions with “how,” “why,” or “what.” Using open-ended questions can collect a lot of info from the other person and about a particular subject.

    As I continued my research, I came across a blog from the Curiosity Tank.

    Here are some tips from that blog:

    • Identify and avoid leading questions, these are any questions that contain bias.
    • Remove any industry jargon or acronyms. Simplify.
    • Eliminate any unnecessary words.
    • Phrase questions in layperson terms.

    Here is some other advice: ask one question at a time. Pause after each question. Give the other person time to reply. Do not jump in after the initial reply. Pause again after hearing the initial response. It takes practice. Before asking a question, think about how you will ask it.

    Resources:

    Curiosity Tank blog “Question wording is Important.” Retrieved on January 15., 2025 from https://www.curiositytank.com/blog/question-wording-is-important

    Parkinson, J. Robert “Phrasing questions to get right information is a necessary art.”January 4, 2014. The Herald Tribune. Retrieved on January 15, 2025 from https://www.heraldtribune.com/story/news/2014/01/04/phrasing-questions-to-get-right-information-is-a-necessary-art/29220850007/

    “Question Phrasing’”. Retrieved on January 15, 2025, from https://wp.stolaf.edu/iea/question-phrasing/

  • Do You Ask Questions?

    January 13, 2025

    Did you know that a four-year-old asks between 200 and 300 questions a day?  According to a report by Harvard based psychologist Paul Harris, a child can ask around 40 thousand questions between 2 to 4 years of age. Asking questions, particularly “why” questions, is a crucial part of a child’s language development and learning process.

    Yet, between childhood and adulthood, the number of questions adults ask diminishes greatly. Adults ask an average of six questions a day. As a curious person and writer, I ask a lot of questions, but I was astounded at that low average.  Frankly, I am saddened that more adults aren’t asking more questions. If childlike wonder is indicative of the number of questions asked, adults’ sense of wonder dissipates so drastically as we age.

    Although children look to adults as teachers, wrote Regan Olsson, we often don’t consider what kids could be teaching us.

    Olsson interviewed Kristine Gotto, Ph.D., Psychologist at the University Medical Center in Phoenix, Arizona. She shared that one life lesson we can learn from kids is to be curious and excited. Being inquisitive is how children learn, as they aren’t burdened with worry or hindered by what others think.

    We can watch kids take risks and be fearless. We can also learn to do it ourselves. Although it may be hard, we can grow a little each day, said Dr. Gotto, adding, life is about learning. If we are willing to be humble, we can learn from what kids can offer us.

    As I mentioned, the average adult may ask six questions a day. There are others who depend on asking questions to improve life, innovate, and become more creative. I have learned that as important as it is to ask questions, it is just as important to the learn the art of asking questions.

    Journalist and author Warren Berger was interviewed in “The Art of Asking Questions,” an educational video on Big Think’s YouTube page. Berger stated it sounds counterintuitive, but questions are becoming more important than answers. The ideas of questions become more important than questions are embraced by Silicon Valley, and other centers of innovation.

    Berger has done his own research. He found at the root and origination of many innovations, there is a great question. Questioning allows us to organize our thinking around what we don’t know.

    “We have so much knowledge, information, and answers at our fingertips,” said Berger. He added it is just as important to ask the right questions as it can help us know what to do with this information.

    As a child, we ask many naïve questions, but as we get older, we learn when it is appropriate to ask questions, and what questions may be considered appropriate in a social setting, states Jonathan Keats, philosopher and author of You Belong to the Universe.

    Keats said to ask a naïve question.  Even if it is in our mind, ask that sort of question. We can let it play out, that process in our minds until it “is more concrete and actionable in an adult responsible way.”

    Questions are a survival skill for all of us, stated Berger.

    Berger has spent a lot of time doing his own research. He discovered that, “In schools, we really value the answers and there is almost no value placed on asking a good question.” Presently, teachers are stretched and stressed to teaching to the test, there is little time for students’ questions that do not relate to the curriculum.  He has is now seeing schools and teachers are addressing the importance of asking questions and trying to deal how schools value asking a good question.  

    Ask dumb questions, said Tim Ferris, investor and author of Tools of the Titans. There is power in the absurd question. Journaling is very important. Ferris said he writes down a question each day, then he writes three to five journal pages answering that question. As you journal, you can come up with interesting ideas. Although ninety percent of what you write in your journal may turn out to be garbage, that other ten percent could lead you in an interesting direction that can revolutionize your business or life.

    Our world and culture are governed by shame and political correctness, commented Ferriss. He has noticed that more and more people are not speaking their minds or asking questions, due to shame and embarrassment. Override the embarrassment of asking that dumb question, and just ask it, said Ferris.

    Perhaps that dumb question that is in your mind, if asked may turn out to be the smartest question because you were the only one who dared to ask it replied Ferris.

    Adults should ask more questions than they do. Curiosity is healthy. Asking lots of questions is healthy. Both spur development and growth, wrote David Benjamin and David Komlos, former contributors to Forbes.com.

    Are you asking questions? I encourage you to be fearless, take risks, ask that question that is on your mind.

    Resources:

    Big Think “The Art of asking the right questions.” Retrieved on 1/10/2025 from the art of asking the right questions | Tim Ferriss, Warren Berger, Hope Jahren & more | Big Think

    Benjamin, David and David Komlos. “Has Your Organization Stopped Asking Questions.” Forbes.com September 26,2022. Retrieved on 1/10/2025 from https://www.forbes.com/sites/benjaminkomlos/2022/09/26/has-your-organization-stopped-asking-questions/

    Olsson, Regan, contributing writer. “Four Life Lessons We Can Learn from Kids.” May 19, 2021, Banner Health. Retrieved on 1/10/2025 from https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/advise-me/four-life-lessons-we-can-learn-from-kids

  • A Maverick of Experimental Psychology

    January 9, 2025

    Did you know that there are several types of curiosity held by humans? Neither did I.

    As a curious person who often jumps down internet “rabbit holes,” my exploration led me to various articles on curiosity. My exploration landed on Daniel Berlyne. Berlyne was a leading 20th century world renowned experimental psychologist. In the 1950’s, Berlyne was one of the first psychologists to offer a comprehensive model of curiosity.

    According to an article “The Five Dimensions of Curiosity,” psychologists have compiled a large body of research on curiosity and its benefits. Since the 1950s, psychologists have offered up competing theories about what makes a person curious. One of the leading minds was Berlyne.

    Berlyne noted that curiosity is a primary driver of exploration. Berlyne was the first to offer a comprehensive model of curiosity. He concluded that diversive curiosity occurs when a bored person searches for something-anything-to boost arousal. There is also specific curiosity that happens when a hyper-stimulated person tries to understand what’s happening in order to reduce arousal to a more managed level.

    Berlyne was a British and Canadian psychologist, born in Britain in April 1924. Berlyne graduated from Cambridge University with a B.A. in 1947, and an M.A. in 1949. Berlyne first worked in academics at St. Andrews University in Scotland. In 1951, Berlyne left Scotland to pursue his Ph.D. at Yale University in the United States. During his career, Berlyne worked at several universities in Canada and the United States. He specialized in the field of experimental and exploratory psychology.

    He wrote or co-authored seven books and 150 journal articles and book chapters. He was honored as Fellow of the Royal Society of Canada, Fellow of the British Psychological association, and lectured at universities on four different continents. He served as President of the Canadian Psychological Association from 1971-72. Those are just a few of the honors that Berlyne earned.

    Berlyne made considerable amount time to the study of curiosity. He wanted to know why various species displayed curiosity, and what motivates them to explore their environments. According to the American Journal of Psychology, Berlyne’s most important single work was in his 1960 book, Conflict, Arousal and Curiosity. This book was the “tour de force” and influenced so many in the fields of psychology. Berlyn’s view was ahead of his time.

    Writers John J. Furedy and Christine Furedy characterized Berlyne as a maverick, because of his independence of thought and research methods he utilized. Based on interview material and other resources, the Furedys collected and studied, they concluded that Berlyne was extremely interested in ideas for their own sakes. Berlyne’s independent trait showed up in his teaching as well. Much of the content of the post-doctoral students’ work is related to what Berlyne was concerned about at the time. Yet, there was little similarity in form of thought or methods among his students. Berlyne spent considerable time and energy teaching his peers and students how to do research. Berlyne marched to his own drumbeat. Berlyne died young at the age of fifty-two in 1976 after a prolonged illness and many operations. Berlyne’s research lives on and has influenced many other generations interested in his work.

    Resources:

    American Journal of Psychology, March 1978, Vol. 91, no.1, pp 133-137

    Hayden, Benjamin, and Celeste Kidd. “The Psychology and Neuroscience of Curiosity.” Retrieved on 1/2/2025 from

    Furedy, John J. and Christine P Furedy, “Daniel Berlyne and psychonomy; the bear of a different drum.” Bulletin of the Psychonomic Society, 1979. 13 (4), 203-205.

    Kashdan, Todd B, David J. Disaboto, Fallon R Goodman, and Carl Naughton. “The Five Dimensions of Curiosity.” Harvard Business Review. September-October 2018 *(the magazine) https://hbr.org/2018/09/the-five-dimensions-of-curiosity retrieved on 1/3/2025.

    British Psychologist Daniel Berlyne

    

    
			
    
		
    
		
	
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    What is Creativity?
    
			
    

    1/5/2025
    




    That is a loaded question, indeed. The Oxford Dictionary defines creativity as the use of the imagination or original ideas, especially in the production of an artistic work. Whereas, writer Dattopant Thengadi from the Indian government’s website CBWE, defined creativity as a characteristic of a person to generate new ideas, alternatives, solutions, and possibilities in a unique and different way.
    




    These were just some of the definitions of creativity. One of the definitions that I like and relate to the most I found on the Quora forum. Creativity is the ability to produce novel and valuable ideas, products, or solutions. It involves combining existing knowledge and experiences in new and unexpected ways to create something original and useful, wrote freelancer Rajan Varghese.
    




    Varghese added that the most creative thing that a human can do is subjective and depends on individual perspective and experiences. Creativity allows individuals to express themselves. Individual creativity can make a positive impact on the world.
    




    How would you define creativity?
    




    BasicArts writer Alex Smith defined creativity as the ability to shepherd something into existence, manage its growth, allow it to become vibrant, and nurture it. Whereas, imagination is the ability to picture something that doesn’t exist. More often than not, if a person says they are not creative, they actually mean, they are not imaginative. They cannot come up with something at random.
    




    The late Sir Ken Robinson described creativity as a process of having an original ideas that have value. Creativity is not random. Creativity is putting imagination to work, and it has produced the most extraordinary results in our human culture.
    




    “The human mind is profoundly and uniquely creative and it all begins with imagination,” wrote Robinson from his book, Out of Our Minds: Learning to be Creative.
    




    During Robinson’s life, he made it his mission to transform education and organizations by a richer conception of human creativity and intelligence.
    




    Robinson wrote, there are misconceptions about creativity. Here are a few:
    




      

    1. Only special people are creative. This is not true. People have varying levels of creativity in different fields. If you are human, you have the power of being creative; yet you may not have developed that power fully.
      2. 




    2. Creativity is about special things, i.e. the arts. Often people may say that they are not creative, it may mean that they are not artistic or musical. Robinson reported that you can be creative if you are a mathematician, software developer or business leader. Human intelligence is a possible site of original thinking. Rather than, asking are you creative? Ask how are you creative?
      3. 




    3. The third misconception is you are creative or you are not. That is the end of that. Robinson disagreed with this conception. There is a lot you can do to become more creative. I will touch on that in a future blog post.
      4. 

    




    In Robinson’s TED talk, “How Schools Kill Creativity.” Robinson stated “we are educating people of out of their creative capacities…I believe this passionately, that we don’t grow into creativity, we grow out of it. Or rather, we get educated out of it.”
    




    Our current educational system and culture’s impact on our creativity as children and adults is a topic of its own that I’ll delve into in another blog post.
    




    I will end this blog by asking, What makes you creative?
    




    Resources:
    




    Robinson, Ken. Out of Our Minds: Learning to be Creative. 2017. Capstone
    




    Smith, Alex “The crucial difference between imagination and creativity”. Basic Arts website. https://basicarts.org/the-crucial-difference-between-imagination-and-creativity/ retrieved on 1/3/2025.
    




    Thengadi, Dattoapnt, National Board for Workers Education and Development, Government of India. https://dtnbwed.cbwe.gov.in/images/upload/Creativity-and-Innovation_YYB3.pdf (retrieved on 1/3/2025)
    




    Varghese, Rajan, freelancer/poster on the Quora forum https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-definition-of-creativity-What-is-the-most-creative-thing-that-a-human-can-do. Retrieved on 1/3/2025.
    




    “Foundation of Creativity” Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction. https://dpi.wi.gov/fine-arts/foundations-creativity retrieved on 1/3/2025.
    




    




    




    

    
			
    
		
    
		
	
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    Curiosity is A Vital Cognitive Tool, Nurture it.
    
			
    

    January 1, 2025
    




    Curiosity is more than a mere desire to know. It is a vital cognitive tool that shapes how our brain functions, learns, and adapts, wrote Matt Murrie, “The Impact of Curiosity on Brain Function: Exploring Cognitive Benefits,” (Whatifcuriosity.com)
    




    Psychologists Celeste Kidd and Benjamin Y Hayden have determined that curiosity is crucial to healthy development. Additionally, despite its pervasiveness, psychologists and social scientists have not agreed upon what curiosity is. Although there have been various barriers to defining curiosity over the last century, interest in studying curiosity has grown steadily among modern neuroscientists and psychologists.
    




    American Philosopher and Psychologist William James called curiosity an impulse towards better cognition. James summarized curiosity as a desire to understand what is known but not yet understood. Curiosity is a tool for increasing knowledge, a powerful motivator, and an innate human behavior.
    




    Although curiosity is a basic element of our cognition, its biological function, mechanisms, and neural underpinning remains poorly understood.
    




    According to writer Jeremy Schwartz, “How Curiosity Changes Your Brain,” we are born naturally curious. He adds curiosity is a desire to know more, be aware, our sense of curiosity can lessen over time.
    




    According to Psychologs, an Indian mental health online magazine, not everyone experiences curiosity in the same way. Educational and early childhood experience play a crucial role in nurturing or suppressing natural curiosity. Though it is thought that children are famously curious, healthy adults can maintain high level of curiosity throughout life. The focus may shift from a broad exploration to deeper, more specific interests.
    




    As our brains continue to grow and change throughout our lives, it changes the structure of our brains. Learning to think differently has longstanding effects on our brains, wrote Schwartz.
    




    As a thought enters our brain, neurons fire. As we learn and experience emotion, new neural paths are created and portions of our brain become larger. You can indeed change your brain with one action at a time, wrote Schwartz.
    




    According to Psychologs magazine, per an evolutionary perspective, curiosity provided our ancestors with significant survival advantages. A desire to learn about their environments helped our ancestors to identify dangers and opportunities.
    




    Interestingly, modern neuroscience has revealed new insights into how curiosity operates in the brain. When we encounter novel or puzzling information, it triggers our curiosity. That then releases dopamine involved with eating, sex, and other pleasurable activities. From that point, curiosity primes our brains for learning. The hippocampus, which is crucial for memory formation, becomes more active when we are curious. Indeed, research has shown that curiosity is a vital cognitive tool for growth.
    




    Resources:
    




    https://www.whatifcuriosity.com/post/the-impact-of-curiosity-on-brain-function-exploring-cognitive-benefits
    




    The psychology and neuroscience of curiosity. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4635443/Retrieved on 12/29/2024.
    




    “How Curiosity Changes Your Brain” by Jeremy Schwartz, August 4, 2017. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4635443/ retrieved on 12/29/2024.
    




    “The Psychology of Neuroscience of Curiosity” by Psychologs Magazine. November 27, 2024. https://www.psychologs.com/the-psychology-and-neuroscience-of-curiosity/Retrieved on 12/29/2024. Psychologs is India’s first mental health magazine.