Curious and Creative

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  • I Crave Being Alone and I love being a “homebody.”

    12/12/2025

    I crave being alone.   Please understand that, for me, being alone at home does not mean I feel lonely. I am connected to my surroundings and treasure the solitude. It is an opportunity for me to recharge, and the quietness gives me time to write.

    The difference between being alone and loneliness is connection. It can be me standing or sitting in a room full of people and I can feel quite lonely. Plus, the more people packed into space, the louder the environment becomes. I hate loud places. Noise levels create such difficulty of hearing what others are talking about. I also find that noisier places blocks opportunities from having deeper conversations. I hate small talk.

    According to Medium writer George J Ziogas, research is now focusing attention on “homebodies.” He added that homebodies are people who feel better when they are at home, in their own environments.

    I am a “preferred” homebody. Many homebodies are introverted, although there are extraverted homebodies. As a homebody, individuals prefer solitary or small group activities over large social events. There is a perception that all homebodies are lonely, shy, or otherwise fearful of leaving their home or engaging with others. New research by psychologists is finding many homebodies are none of those things.

    Research shows that people who prefer solitude or home environment have habits that include strong self-awareness, emotional independence, and even a strong bent to creativity. I get the creative part. Today, I was making holiday flower arrangements and decorating holiday wreaths. I realize that I have become comfortable in my own skin and enjoy time just being me.

    “People who thrive on alone time also frequently state that they experience their most creative ideas and impulses during quiet times,” wrote Ziogas.  “Experiencing solitude in an intentional way often allows homebodies to mentally ‘wander’ and think their most creative thoughts.”

    I do not think solitude or being a homebody is for everyone. I know some individuals who crave the energy of others. They say they go bonkers after a while of being just themselves.

    What solitude offers:

    Comfort and familiarity: My home is a sanctuary. It is a place where I can relax without the pressures and tensions of social interactions, particularly awkward ones. As I get older, I embrace being at home more. I have found choosing to be at home reduces my social anxiety, then I feel less overwhelmed.

    Personality: Certain personality types, such as introverts, may naturally gravitate towards being  homebodies. They often prefer solitary activities or intimate gatherings over large social events. I would rather have a coffee or hot cocoa one-on-one with a friend. I even attended arts events by myself. Quick in and out, I go back home.

    Social Preferences:

    Being homebody does not mean that individuals are avoiding social situations, but rather choosing social situations of quality over quantity. As a homebody, I enjoy small gatherings that tend to be on the quieter side. It’s a chance for me to have more in-depth conversations with another person. If I cannot meet in person, we arrange to meet online via Zoom from the comfort of my home. Convenience of technology has eased making connections with others. I am a member of two Toastmasters clubs that meet online via Zoom. It is terrific way to connect for an hour every two weeks without driving out at night.

    Lifestyle Changes:

    Research studies show that more people are spending more time at home than in previous years. This trend began before COVID-19, and the restrictions that were put in place during the pandemic. Now, many more people are working from home and have adjusted to this new lifestyle. Compared to our 2003 counterparts, we are spending 30 minutes more a day at home, according to a Princeton Study by sociologist Patrick Sharkey.

    There are benefits to staying at home:

    Control of your environment: I like that I can determine my own schedule, choose what I want to watch, listen to, or read. I can control the ambiance including lights, sounds, and smells.

    Cost Savings: Going out can be costly. There are so many new entertainment options through today’s technology. Maybe even just pulling out a deck of cards or playing a board game. You can make your own meals, try new cuisines, or return to familiar comfort foods. Plus, with today’s technology, with a few taps of the button on your computer you can order groceries, presents, or your next take-out meal that can be delivered to your doorstep.

    Opportunities for hobbies: Looking for something to do, there are various how to videos online to teach you a new hobby. Sometimes you can find the supplies at a local thrift shop, to help get you started. When you are active, check out the local libraries for resources.

    I savor my time as a homebody. I do enjoy social interactions, I prefer smaller, more intimate settings and deeper levels of conversation. Here is to being a homebody.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved from freepik.com  Image by pikisuperstar on Freepik on 12/12/2025 from <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/collection-people-enjoying-their-free-time_4914555.htm”&gt; </a>

    Avila, Marian. “Why More People Become Homebodies with Age: 11 Eye-opening Reasons.” Retrieved on 12/11/2025 from https://www.msn.com/en-us/society-culture-and-history/social-issues/why-more-people-become-homebodies-with-age-11-eye-opening-reasons/ar-AA1FNxhE

    Blanc, Ocean.” Why Spending Time Alone Makes You More Successful: 7 Science-Backed Reasons.” 2/10/2025. Retrieved on 12/4/2025 from https://themindsjournal.com/people-alone-successful/

    Milbrand, Lisa. “We’re All Becoming Homebodies-and It’s Having Surprising Impacts on Our Health, New Study Says.” 10/16/2025. Retrieved on 12/11/2025 from https://www.realsimple.com/health-effects-americans-spending-more-time-at-home-8727414

    Ngo, Hope. “Things Only a Homebody Will Truly Understand.” 2/4/2020. Retrieved on 12/10/2025 from https://www.thelist.com/186785/things-only-a-homebody-will-truly-understand/

    Ziogas, George J. “The Surprising Psychology Behind People Who Love Staying at Home. The Truth about people who prefer to stay home.” 11/22/2025 retrieved on 12/4/2025 from https://medium.com/infinite-impulse/the-surprising-psychology-behind-people-who-love-staying-at-home-8336ed94573d

  • There is Power in Walking Away

    8/17/2025

    What is the meaning of quitting? The dictionary defines quitting to stop doing something; to give up or resign one’s job or position.

    “Persistence is not always the best decision, certainly not absent context. And context changes,” wrote Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away.

    I found this proverb:   “No matter how far you have gone down the wrong path, turn back.”

    That proverb makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? It is ultimately our decision making now that affects our tomorrows. Why persist if you know that you are going in the wrong direction? Quit, stop, turn back. You have the power to walk away.

    According to Mckenna Princing, people love to tout phrases meant to be encouraging, like “You only fail if you quit, blah blah blah, but the truth is that sometimes quitting is the healthiest option in a not-great situation — or because a better opportunity has come your way.”

    As I noted in my blog last week on quitting, our society prides itself on persistence, perseverance, and grit. What if the situation, project, job, or business is not the best? If persisting could be worse, not better.

    A few months ago, I tried again to find a new way to use my creativity and create a personal ministry. I brainstormed ideas and came up with, “bloom with kindness.” I would make faux floral arrangements to deliver and give to senior centers, assisted living, and nursing homes. At first, I had lots of enthusiasm and energy. I delivered a dozen or more arrangements to about six local senior facilities in early July. Now, the supplies sit on my shelf and table gathering dust. I feel emotionally drained that I do not have the energy to create. I am mentally and emotionally stuck. No doubt about it. Quitting has entered my mind on more than one occasion.

    Throughout my life, I have identified myself as an artist, whether it is drawing, painting, or most recently, floral arranging. When I am not being creative in some way, I feel that I am lost. I had not realized how much of my identity is tied to being creative in some way or another.   Wait, you might say, isn’t writing this blog creative?  Yes, you are right. However, I use my creativity and brain in a different way than drawing, or painting, or even floral arranging. Perhaps, I have defined creativity in a limited manner.

    “Quitters never quit, and quitters never win.” Many in our society have internalized this message, wrote Duke. It is deeply rooted in our culture. So much so that we often stick to the wrong course of action for too long.

    There are positive reasons for quitting, wrote Princing, added that your interests shifted, you got a better offer, you’re moving or are switching careers or simply want a change of pace. However, feeling of wanting to quit can be an indicator as well.

    Signs that you are distressed or under duress:

    • You regularly feel burnt out. 
    • You’re constantly thinking about it when you’re supposed to be doing other things or resting. 
    • You often avoid it or have a lot of fear around it. 
    • You have a narcissistic or unsupportive leader.  
    • Your health and mental health is suffering.
    • You are being bullied or otherwise disrespected.
    • You are being harassed or discriminated against. 

    Knowing when to quit is an important skill to develop, notes Duke. Duke is a former professional poker player. She won over four million dollars in a professional poker tournament before walking away in 2012. Since that time, she has co-founded the Alliance for Decision Education, which is a nonprofit organization that teaches decision-making skills to students and empowers them.

    According to Duke, it can be exceedingly difficult to walk away and quit. Duke notes a term called “loss aversion.”  It means people tend to look at the money and time that they have invested so far, fear they will lose it if they walk away.

    When choosing among new options, loss aversion causes us to favor the ones that have the lowest absolute loss associated with them, even if those options come at a lower expected value wrote Duke.

    Have you heard of Richard Thaler? In 1980, Thaler was the first to point out to the “sunk cost effect” as a phenomenon, which is a cognitive error that people take into account money, time, effort or other resources they have previously sunk into an endeavor when making decisions about whether to continue and spend more.

    There have been forty years of experiments and field work across many domains that show people behave as Thaler had theorized on “sunk costs”. People do take account of whether to move forward, noted Duke, they do consider what they’ve already spent. They  do this because they “irrationally think” that the only way to recover or justify the costs is if they continue. This thinking and decision-making costs people to stick with something that they should quit.

    Duke states that when “stakes are high” it is hard to walk away from a business, project, investment, or even a relationship. According to Duke, when we are in the losses, we are not only more likely to stick to a losing course of action but also double down. This tendency is called escalation of commitment.

    Escalation of commitment is not just limited to individuals. It is robust and universal in organizations and government entities as continued Duke.

    According to Duke, a rational decision maker would consider only the future costs and benefits in deciding whether to continue with a particular course of action. In other words, if there would be a positive future outcome, the “rational” person would persist and persevere. But if a negative outcome affects value, they will quit.

    Dr. Julia Keller notes that in the wild, perseverance has no special status. “Animals do what they do, because it furthers their agenda: to last long enough to reproduce, ensuring continuation of their genetic material,” adding that the best way to survive as a species is to give up on whatever’s not contributing to survival, to waste as few resources as possible on the ineffective.

    If quitting is the best option to move forward, asks Keller, why don’t we always do it?

    “Quitting is a skill, a survival technique,” wrote Keller. “It’s not, as we humans sometimes treat it, a moral failing. And resisting the impulse to quit isn’t necessarily bravery or noble. It’s nonsensical.” 

    You may be at a point where you must do a soul search to determine the best course of action. If you decide to quit, make the experience meaningful. Although things may not turn out as you had planned, look at what valuable learning opportunities you had, use that to improve your next experience, business, project or job.

    If what you do or have done is part of your personal identity, it will be difficult to quit and walk away. Ask yourself, does what you are doing still serve you or its original purpose? Is it helping you meet goals or holding you back from other opportunities? Perhaps it is time to accept your power to walk away.

    Quitting is not a personal failure or a moral failing, despite what may be held by society or culture. I think it takes guts to walk away. It takes gumption to move past what you have known, it may have worked for you at one point, but now it no longer does. Be brave.

    “There’s a point at which perseverance becomes denial,” said Benjamin Wood.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 8/16/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/flat-illustration-person-being-overwhelmed_24014057.htm#fromView

    Duke, Annie. Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. Portfolio/Penguin. ©2022

    Keller, PhD, Julia. Quitting: A Life Strategy. Balance Books. ©2023.

    Princing, McKenna. “Quitting Isn’t Always Bad. Here’s the Best Way to Do It:.” 12/18/2023. Retrieved on  8/6/2023 from https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/work/how-to-quit-gracefully

  • “The Importance of Asking Why”

    January 26, 2025

    “Our behavior is affected by our assumptions or our perceived truths. We make decisions based on what we think we know,” wrote Simon Sinek, author of the book Start with Why.

    Many know the importance of asking “why “ questions. Many have sought knowledge and better understanding, which is perhaps why Simon Sinek’s TED Talk “Start with Why” has over 9 million views, and why his book Start with Why has sold over a million copies worldwide.

    As a toddler and young child, humans ask many questions, particularly ones that begin with “why.” Asking questions helps the toddler and young child develop language and understanding. The average 2 to 5 year old may ask over 400 questions per day.

    During Andrew Vincent’s 2019 TEDx Talk, he stated, once a child enters and proceeds through the educational process, questions start to no longer be asked or questioned. When a teen enters secondary school, they start chasing exam results. As teens, students may not think about the question at all. The focus becomes getting an answer that is required to get the grade that the student wants.  

    “The question is no longer questioned, and the question is set by someone else,” commented Vincent.  Yet, questions will arise, and answers matter. Vincent pointed out that questions matter even more. The questions of discovery are the beautiful questions, and they can never be used too much.

    I found several resources outlining benefits of asking questions, including ones that Andrew Vincent notes his TEDx Talk. Asking questions helps us:

    • Forge connections
    • Emphasize.
    • Get to know people.
    • Understand why things are the way they are.
    • Clarify underlying motivations.
    • Encourage critical thinking and critical thinking skills.
    • Build stronger relationships.

    This brings me back to Sinek. In his book, Sinek highlighted the concept of the Golden Circle. Think of three concentric circles:  In the smallest inner circle is the word ‘why”, in the next circle is the word “how,” and the outer circle is the word “what.” Many organizations and individuals may be able to answer what they do and how it is done.  Yet, there are many, perhaps even yourself, your organization, or your business may not have answered the why of what you do. Answering the “why” we do what we do could help us understand better, plus, motivate us and others. Most particularly, we differentiate ourselves and stand out from our competitors.


    The Golden Circle as described by Simon Sinek

    Resources:

    Carew International. Retrieved on 1/25/2025 from https://www.carew.com/why-should-we-ask-why-20-creative-ways-to-ask-why-that-you-can-use-today/

    Sinek, Simon. Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Act. Portfolio/Penguin.

    Vincent, Andrew. “The Art of Asking Questions.” TEDX Bollington. TEDX Talks. July 15.2019.

  • A Maverick of Experimental Psychology

    January 9, 2025

    Did you know that there are several types of curiosity held by humans? Neither did I.

    As a curious person who often jumps down internet “rabbit holes,” my exploration led me to various articles on curiosity. My exploration landed on Daniel Berlyne. Berlyne was a leading 20th century world renowned experimental psychologist. In the 1950’s, Berlyne was one of the first psychologists to offer a comprehensive model of curiosity.

    According to an article “The Five Dimensions of Curiosity,” psychologists have compiled a large body of research on curiosity and its benefits. Since the 1950s, psychologists have offered up competing theories about what makes a person curious. One of the leading minds was Berlyne.

    Berlyne noted that curiosity is a primary driver of exploration. Berlyne was the first to offer a comprehensive model of curiosity. He concluded that diversive curiosity occurs when a bored person searches for something-anything-to boost arousal. There is also specific curiosity that happens when a hyper-stimulated person tries to understand what’s happening in order to reduce arousal to a more managed level.

    Berlyne was a British and Canadian psychologist, born in Britain in April 1924. Berlyne graduated from Cambridge University with a B.A. in 1947, and an M.A. in 1949. Berlyne first worked in academics at St. Andrews University in Scotland. In 1951, Berlyne left Scotland to pursue his Ph.D. at Yale University in the United States. During his career, Berlyne worked at several universities in Canada and the United States. He specialized in the field of experimental and exploratory psychology.

    He wrote or co-authored seven books and 150 journal articles and book chapters. He was honored as Fellow of the Royal Society of Canada, Fellow of the British Psychological association, and lectured at universities on four different continents. He served as President of the Canadian Psychological Association from 1971-72. Those are just a few of the honors that Berlyne earned.

    Berlyne made considerable amount time to the study of curiosity. He wanted to know why various species displayed curiosity, and what motivates them to explore their environments. According to the American Journal of Psychology, Berlyne’s most important single work was in his 1960 book, Conflict, Arousal and Curiosity. This book was the “tour de force” and influenced so many in the fields of psychology. Berlyn’s view was ahead of his time.

    Writers John J. Furedy and Christine Furedy characterized Berlyne as a maverick, because of his independence of thought and research methods he utilized. Based on interview material and other resources, the Furedys collected and studied, they concluded that Berlyne was extremely interested in ideas for their own sakes. Berlyne’s independent trait showed up in his teaching as well. Much of the content of the post-doctoral students’ work is related to what Berlyne was concerned about at the time. Yet, there was little similarity in form of thought or methods among his students. Berlyne spent considerable time and energy teaching his peers and students how to do research. Berlyne marched to his own drumbeat. Berlyne died young at the age of fifty-two in 1976 after a prolonged illness and many operations. Berlyne’s research lives on and has influenced many other generations interested in his work.

    Resources:

    American Journal of Psychology, March 1978, Vol. 91, no.1, pp 133-137

    Hayden, Benjamin, and Celeste Kidd. “The Psychology and Neuroscience of Curiosity.” Retrieved on 1/2/2025 from

    Furedy, John J. and Christine P Furedy, “Daniel Berlyne and psychonomy; the bear of a different drum.” Bulletin of the Psychonomic Society, 1979. 13 (4), 203-205.

    Kashdan, Todd B, David J. Disaboto, Fallon R Goodman, and Carl Naughton. “The Five Dimensions of Curiosity.” Harvard Business Review. September-October 2018 *(the magazine) https://hbr.org/2018/09/the-five-dimensions-of-curiosity retrieved on 1/3/2025.

    British Psychologist Daniel Berlyne