March 7, 2025
Do you feel drained and fatigued? Do you have low energy? Are you dissatisfied with life? You may not realize it, but what you’re feeling are effects of fear on your body and mind.
Fear is one of the most powerful forces in life, wrote Theo Tsaousides, Ph.D. Fear affects the decisions you make, the actions you take, and the outcomes you achieve. Fear also comes in different forms. If you are seeking success, the fear of failure could have the most direct impact on you.
Dr. Diane Hamilton described fear at its core as a reluctance to delve into the unknown. Fear is defined as being overly cautious or reluctant to act to avoid consequences. The reasons could range from the ridiculous to deadly serious. It includes fear of failure, fear of making life altering changes, fear of looking stupid or ignorant, and fear of reexperiencing something negative from childhood.
Did you know that there is a word for the fear of failure? It’s called “atychiphobia,” and according to the Cleveland Clinic, atychiphobiais an intense fear of failure. There are three key points about the fear of failure: it has a paralyzing effect, it involves emotional distress, and it brings procrastination.As the anxiety and anticipation of potential failure can be more debilitating than the aftermath of a mistake, it often leads to avoidance behaviors and missed opportunities to learn and grow.
The constant worry about failing can prevent people from taking risks, trying new things, and holding us back from achieving goals.A fear of failing can often make us feel worse than actual failure. Personal experiences with failure can cause us to develop an intense fear of failure in the future.
Researchers have found that the fear of failure is multifaceted. According to Dr. Tsaousides, there are different types of consequences that we fear we will suffer, should we fail. Each time we experience the fear of failure, it may be for a different reason. Some of the reasons included, but not limited to, is the belief that failure is embarrassing, you don’t have what it takes to succeed, you are stuck, you will let people down, or that you are irrelevant.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, fear of failure is self-fulfilling. Those that fear failure might put off tasks or important decisions, due to an anticipation of potential negative outcomes.
According to Dr. Tsaousides, fear of failure is the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral reaction to the negative consequences you anticipate for failing to achieve a goal.
Behavioral scientists, psychologists, and counselors encourage us to not shy away from fear, but instead, move toward risk. From my personal experience, that is easier said than done. Fear of failure is a psychological barrier that prevents people from taking risks.
Podcast host Paul Colaianni of “The Overwhelmed Brain” has said that the fear of failing can be imagined as so traumatic and painful to some, that they literally do nothing instead. What does failure mean for you? If you define it, you might have a better understanding what we really fear.
Our natural inclination to fear might be to pull away and avoid facing the fear. I found this quote from Marc Jabobs: “Curiosity is what draws you of your comfort zone; fear is what draws you back in.”
Jacobs makes some key points: curiosity is a positive motivator and driving force. But fear is a restraint. It holds you back from venturing too far of the comfort zone. There is an internal struggle to stay safe and our desire to explore. We need to find a balance.
“Fear of failure keeps you safe, but small,” wrote Dr. Tsaousides.
Psychologist Dr. Lisabeth Saunders Metlock points out that our mistakes and failures are gifts, gems, and guideposts in our learning and growth as people. Rather than shy away, we need to instead embrace failures, mistakes, screw ups and shortcomings, because they not only make us uniquely who we are, they also teach us powerful lessons.
Dr. Metlock shared a few ways of changing our perspectives:
- Mistakes can teach us what we really want and help us reevaluate our lives. Mistakes and failures can help us focus on issues and problems that take us off track.
- Mistakes and failures give us a reality check. When we experience consequences of our actions, we can get a clear message of what efforts are working and what efforts are not.
- Mistakes teach us to accept ourselves that we can be flawed and be loved. Mistakes also teach us about responsibility.
- Admitting and facing our mistakes and failures can take us straight to the hear of our fears.
“Taking responsibility for a failure may not be fun. But the act of doing so points out what we can do differently next time,” wrote Dr. Saunders Metlock.
As my research continues, I have found that we cannot beat a fear, failure, or mistake until we face it. We cannot face a fear until we can define it. I have discovered that since beginning this blog writing journey curiosity has indeed become antidote to my fears and anxieties. My curiosity has grown and evolved. I noticed a level of decreased anxiety. My personal experience is that curiosity can indeed be a counterforce to my fear of failure.
In my journey to learn and be curious, I came across a terrific interviews was from the radio show “On Being,” with host Krista Tippet and author Elizabeth Gilbert. The interview took place in September 2016. While the interview was eight years ago, the wisdom that was shared touched my heart.
“I think curiosity is our friend that teaches us how to become ourselves, said Gilbert, “and it’s a very gentle friend, and a very forgiving friend, and a very constant one.”
Fear can cause us to make terrible decisions about of our lives, what we see, and how we react. Life can be a risky affair. It is important to step outside of ourselves, develop a friendly curiosity of others.
I am going to dig out my copy of Big Magic and reread it this year. From Gilbert’s book Big Magic, “Living a life is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear.” I am going to challenge myself to continue living by curiosity, and less by fear. One way that I will continue to do that is writing this blog, Curious and Creative.
Resources:
Image retrieved on 3/7/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/search?format=search&last_filter=page&last_value=2&page=2&query=failure&type=vector#uuid=d8abbd63-c53b-44cf-8445-ac0ea62fb19f
Colaianni, Paul. The Overwhelmed Brain: “When the fear of failure stops you from doing anything and everything.” Episode 392. 2/21/2021. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from in
Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22555-atychiphobia-fear-of-failure
Gilbert, Elizabeth. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. Riverhead Books, NY. ©2015.
Hamilton, Diane. “What is Fear and How Does It Affect Curiosity and Innovation?”. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.futurelearn.com/info/courses/developing-curiosity/0/steps/156554
Knight, Dr. Terralon Cannon. “Tools to Overcome Fear of Failure.” TEDxUniversity of South Africa Women. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTHXa8OzzZs.
Samit, Jay. “It’s Time to Disrupt You!” TEDx Augusta. 2017. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1SlbTZyaWE
Saunders Medlock, Ph.D. Lisabeth. “Don’t Fear Failure: Nine Powerful Lessons We Can Learn From Our Mistakes.” 1/4/2015. Retrieved on 2/24/2025 from Don’t Fear Failure: Nine Powerful Lessons We Can Learn From Our Mistakes | HuffPost Life
Tippett, Krista, host. “Choosing Curiosity Over Fear”. On-Being. September 5, 2016. Daily Good. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.dailygood.org/story/1376/choosing-curiosity-over-fear-on-being/.
Tsaousides, Theo, Ph.D. “Why Fear of Failure Can Keep You Stuck.” Psychologytoday.com 12/27/2017. Retrieved on 2/24/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201712/why-fear-failure-can-keep-you-stuck?msockid=24f8ebd9437164501298fedc42c365fc
Curious and Creative 