Curious and Creative

Tag: mental health

  • When Holiday Time is not a Joyful Time

    12/24/2025

    “It is a Holly, Jolly Christmas; the best time of the year.”

    This song is often in the regular Christmas music rotation for the local radio station, and it is also on my personal Apple music playlist. This year, I was paying more attention to the lyrics of various songs that I had heard before. I often played my holiday music station on Pandora when I was researching and writing my blog.

    I know the words of holiday music are intended to lift spirits. Song lyrics speak of a season filled with joy, warmth, gratitude, and celebration. What if the holidays do not bring joy to yourself or to someone that you know? Many individuals can dread the holiday season as it is filled with stress, loneliness, grief, or emotional burnout.

    Psychologist Elizabeth A. Grill wrote that family dynamics, pressures, and struggles can be magnified during the holiday season.

    According to the Better Help Editorial team, the holidays can raise challenging feelings and create conflict. When left unaddressed, such stress can evolve into more serious health issues.

    Holidays over the years have been a mix of joy, stress, and sometimes loneliness. I did not always share my feelings with others as I did want to be a “wet blanket” on other’s holiday cheer. There have been many times that, by Christmas Day, I rolled around I was physically and mentally exhausted.

    In a Lifestance Health Survey, it found that seven out of ten respondents feel pressured to appear happier than they are during the holidays. More than half of the respondents feel lonely around the holidays, even when they are with loved ones. According to 57 percent of the respondents, holidays are stressful.

    I put a lot of pressure on myself to create the perfect and magical Christmas, and replicate happy experiences from my childhood for my own family. I have learned over the years, after my younger was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at age six, that the stress and demands of the holidays could turn daily life into a tailspin. Christmas gatherings were very overwhelming, and included lots of people, food, presents, and expectations. Sometimes, it did not turn out like a picture-perfect Christmas card –  not even close. Christmases were and are different.

    As my younger son grew into a teenager and now as young adult, I have worked hard to get his input on what he liked, loved, hated, or wanted to do without. I have worked hard this year to do weekly or even daily check-ins with him. How can I help? What does he need? In the process of trying to help him with the stresses of the holidays, I have helped myself.

    Chloe Bean is a somatic trauma therapist that specializes in anxiety and nervous system regulation.

    “A big reason mental health declines in December,” stated Bean,  “is because the nervous system gets pulled in many directions at once.”

    There are shorter days, increased social pressure, travel, financial stress, family roles and dynamics that reopen wounds, noted Bean.

    Some people experienced unhealthy situations and dynamics, said Mary Fleisch, a licensed trauma therapist.

    “Mental health declines during the holidays,” said Fleisch, “because there is a lot of pressure and buildup around connection and belonging.” 

    There are also many personal, family, and community pressures to gather, visit, and enjoy meals together. There maybe pressure to be “happy,” when you really are not. If you are not in the mood to celebrate, others may tease that you are “The Grinch” or being a “Scrooge.”

    There are holiday blues and season affective disorder, there is a distinct difference.

    A person experiencing holiday blues is facing situational stress, grief, or pressure related to the holidays. On the other hand, someone that experiences seasonal affective disorder faces recurring seasonal depression that is linked to light changes, and has lasting symptoms. An evaluation by a professional counselor can help determine whether it is holiday blues or SAD.

    The holidays can magnify stress and grief. Here are some common triggers:

    • Family stress during the holidays
    • Perfectionism
    • Feeling that you might miss out
    • Comparison
    • Scrolling social media
    • Family gatherings
    • Grief/loss

    The holidays can amplify disconnecting, noted Rebecca Kase, LCSW. She added that loneliness is a physiological state, not a personality flaw.

    Grill says the holidays can hurt, and it is important to find balance and compassion for yourself. It is important to prioritize self-care without guilt. Your needs deserve the same compassion you give others.

    The holidays can be emotionally complex. While some people may look forward to connection, others can experience pressure, overstimulation, grief, or financial strain. These can magnify underlying anxiety, depression, or other symptoms, noted Georgia Behavioral Health.

    Here are some things to consider when you are trying to help yourself or another person:

    • Let go of external pressures. You are not obligated to meet other’s expectations.
    • Know your limits. Protect your emotional capacity. Say “no” to events or interactions if you feel overwhelmed. Choose how you spend your time.
    • Release the perfection. Striving for perfectionism is self-sabotage. Not every moment will be magical. Do you know what, that is okay?
    • Practice self-kindness. Remind yourself that what you do is enough.
    • Take breaks and maintain routines of sleep, exercise, and mindfulness.
    • Practice daily self-checking ins. Ask yourself what do I need today?
    • Acknowledge your feelings. Your feelings deserve validation.

    I would like to add one of my own, rethink traditions. Not all traditions are meant to be continued into perpetuity. I used to worry that if I did not continue traditions of my family with my kids or those of my husband’s family, then I would fail. I know that sounds silly, but I let external pressures impact me. Give yourself kindness this Christmas.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 12/24/2025 from Image by DC Studio on Freepik

    Better Help Editorial Team. “How Holidays Affect Mental Health: Stress, Depression, Anxiety, and the Holiday Blues.” 11/7/2025. Retrieved on 12/21/2025 from https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/current-events/how-holidays-affect-mental-health-stress-depression-anxiety-and-the-holiday-blues/

    Georgia Behavioral Health. “Can Anxiety Cause Dizziness? Unpacking the Myths and Facts.” 12/12/2025. Retrieved on 12/21/2025 from https://www.gbhpsych.com/holidays-and-mental-health/

    Grill, Psych D., Elizabeth. “When the Holidays Hurt: Finding Balance and Compassion.” Psychology Today. 12/14/2025. Retrieved on 12/21/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-the-womb/202512/when-the-holidays-hurt-finding-balance-and-compassion?

    Moser, Jason, and Shelly DeJong. “Ask the Expert: How to Manage Stress Over the Holidays.” 12/18/2025. Retrieved on 12/21/2025 from https://psychology.msu.edu/news-events/news/managing-holiday-stress.html

    Nenn, Kerry. “Best Ways to Manage Holiday Depression and Stress, According to Mental Health Experts.” 12/17/2025. Retrieved on 12/21/2025 from https://therapy.com/conditions/depression/holiday-depression-stress/

  • Hope Matters. Hope is Essential

    12/6/2025

    Are you a believer in hope, or are you cynic masquerading as a “realist?” I admit lately I spend more time in the second category than the first. My anxiety plays a big part in my view of life.

    My husband has asked me, “Why live in fear and be cynical?”

    I cannot always answer that question when I am in an anxious state. When I am anxious, anxiety hijacks my brain, locking out sensibility and logic. However, once the anxiety and panic have dissipated, logic can take reins again. I can think more clearly.

    Hope carries a lot of weight. I need to re-evaluate where I am. As I dove into research on hope, my brain locked into curiosity. Over the last few days, I have learned that hope is a stand-alone emotion that is a powerful force that makes you feel that your life matters.

    Recent research has shown that hope is more than wishful thinking and more important than happiness. If you face a difficult challenge or uncertain time, it is important to turn to hope.

    William Miller, author of the book 8 Ways to Hope, notes how important it is to hope and ways we can cultivate hope. He defines hope as a complex response, involving feeling, thought, action, vision, a life-force, and a way of seeing or being. He added, it is not a naïve approach to seeing the world, where we ignore problems and engage in “wishful thing.”

    “The essence of hope is envisioned betterment, and serves us well,” wrote Miller.  “As humans we are hardwired to dream a better future, helping us to carry on and survive.”

    University of Missouri’s Psychological Sciences research backs up this idea that hope is integral to fostering meaning in one’s life. U of M researchers. led by Megan Edwards and Laura King in the Psychological Sciences department, are showing that hope stands apart as one of the strongest positive emotions that directly fosters a sense of meaning.

    “Our research shifts the perspective on hope from merely a cognitive process related to goal attainment to recognizing it as a vital emotional experience that enriches life’s meaning,” wrote Edwards, who is now a post doctorate scholar at Duke University.  She commented that this is a new insight, and it opens new avenues for enhancing psychological well-being.

    Research included six studies of more than twenty-three hundred participants from diverse backgrounds. The teams analyzed the range of emotions, including amusement, contentment, excitement, and happiness. The findings consistently demonstrated that only hope predicted a stronger sense of meaning.

    King stated that experiencing meaning in life is crucial for about every good thing you can imagine in a person’s life. It enhances self-care in relationships, adding, it is not a rare experience as it is available to people in their everyday lives. Hope is one of the things that makes life meaningful.

    “Perceiving meaning in life can provide a sense of coherence, recognition, and comprehension in whatever is happening,” writes Miller, while “purpose in life includes a personal role in the present and future.”

    “Given the plethora of positive characteristics with which it is associated, hope might be considered a master virtue,” writes Miller. “It is a positive orientation of mind and heart toward your own future or that of the world at large.”

    Miller highlights a research study that was conducted at an in-patient alcohol treatment center, where staff was given the hopeful message that certain patients in their care were more likely to improve. After treatment was over, those patients did, indeed, have fewer drinking episodes, longer periods of abstinence, and higher rates of employment than other patients.

    But, it turns out the staff had been duped.  Those patients had no better chance of improvement than any others. Just infusing hope changed the course of treatment.

    “Seeing a possible pathway forward is both a source and a product of hope,” wrote Miller.

    Other psychologists have discovered that if you generate hopefulness, you can think about a broader range of solutions, wrote Gina Simmons Schneider, Ph.D., author of Frazzlebrain, adding that hope is healthy.

    We live in an age of cynicism and hostility where there is a deep distrust of others, including our institutions and neighbors. This can lead to feeling frazzled while dampening attitudes of cooperation or collaboration. It also can shut down healthy hopefulness. It can be scary and challenging when then faced with self-critical thoughts. Yet hope can open the door.

    Schneider wrote that when hope is generated you can provide yourself with comfort and encouragement. Talk to yourself as if you were caring for a close friend using phrases such as “may I be peaceful; may I live with ease.” These phrases can help aim your mind in a soothing direction.

    I encourage you to lean toward hope as hope can be contagious. As Rodielon, staff writer for earth.com, wrote, hope is a lifeline.

    “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”—Desmond Tutu.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 12/4/2025 from <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/top-view-hop-word-made-with-scrabble-letters-against-black-background_4341855.htm

    Putol, Rodielon. “Experts identify the simple emotion that gives life meaning – and it’s not happiness.” 6/23/2025. Earth.com. Retrieved on 12/4/2025 from https://www.earth.com/news/experts-identify-the-simple-emotion-that-gives-life-meaning-and-its-not-happiness/

    Ras, Bonnie Riva, deputy editor. “Why Hope is More Important Than Happiness.” 7/12/2025. Retrieved on 12/3/2025 from https://www.goodnet.org/articles/hope-more-important-than-happiness

    Schneider, Ph.D., Gina Simmons. “Easy Ways to Generate Hope. Hopefulness is Healthy and can be Learned.” Retrieved on 12/4/2024 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/frazzlebrain/202411/easy-ways-to-generate-hope?

    Stann, Eric. University of Missouri. “Hope may be more important to your well-being than happiness.” 6/27/2025. Retrieved on 12/3/2025 from https://www.futurity.org/hope-well-being-3285112/

    Suttie, Psy.D, Jill. “Eight Ways You Can Feel More Hopeful-Even in Dark Times.” 8/21/2024. Retrieved 12/4/2025 from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_ways_you_can_feel_more_hopeful_even_in_dark_times

  • Do You Feel Lonely?

    November 19, 2025

    Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik

    Have you ever felt lonely and lost in a room full of people?

    You do not have to be alone to feel lonely. Our modern life is designed for isolation. Yet, loneliness harms our bodies not just our minds according to the U.S. Surgeon General.

    The effect and mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, noted U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. Additionally, this is greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.

    Murthy first put the spotlight on the loneliness epidemic back in the spring of 2023. He reported that during his first listening tour of the U.S., he began hearing stories that they felt isolated, invisible and insignificant. But even they could not put their finger on the word, “lonely.”

    How does the Surgeon General define loneliness? Loneliness is described as a state of mind: “a subjective distressing experience that results from perceived isolation or inadequate meaningful connections, where inadequate refers to the discrepancy or unmet need between an individual’s preferred and actual experience.” 

    “Loneliness is not about being alone. It is about feeling unseen,” wrote Whitney Coulson, LCSW. Adding, loneliness is about our needs for connection not being met. We feel we are not being met, unseen, unheard, or unimportant to anyone in a meaningful way, noted Coulson.

    Loneliness has become such an important topic, that between 2021-2024, Harvard University Graduate School of Education conducted the study “Making Care Common.” Researchers investigated the underlying causes of loneliness and in May 2024, they conducted a national survey with the company YouGov to find out what Americans had to say about the problem.

    Who is lonely? It might not be what you would expect, according to a 2024 Harvard University Study:

    • People between 30-44 years of age were the loneliest group — 29% of people in this age range said they were “frequently” or “always” lonely.
    • Among 18–29-year-olds — the rate was 24%.
    • For 45–64-year-olds, the rate was 20%.
    • Adults aged sixty-five and older reported the lowest rate: 10% felt lonely.
    • There were no real gender differences found, nor political ideology, race, or ethnicity. Yet, adults with more than one racial identity had much higher levels of loneliness: 42 percent of multiracial survey respondents reported they were lonely.
    • Interestingly, there were notable differences between income, but not education levels. Twenty-nine percent of Americans earning less than $30,000 were the loneliest. Nineteen percent of those earning between $50,000 to $100,000, and 18 percent of those making $100,000 or more reported that they were lonely.

    According to Psychology Today, half of U.S. adults reporting feeling lonely. Not just in the United States, 1 in 6 adults globally experience loneliness, with significant health impacts, including an estimated 871 hundred thousand deaths annually due to loneliness related issues.

    Did you know that chronic loneliness increases the risk of premature death by 29 percent? It is associated with higher rates of heart disease, stroke, and dementia. In a sense, loneliness can lead to broken heartedness.

    The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation 2023,” pointed out that we feel the impact of this loss of social connection. It can be felt in our schools, workplaces, and civic organization, where performance, productivity, and engagement are diminished.  

    What has contributed to this epidemic of loneliness? Experts point out that several societal changes have worsened the feelings of loneliness.

    • Digital age-Technology may offer connectivity but lacks depth of face-to-face interactions: 73 percent of those surveyed said that technology contributed to loneliness.
    • COVID-19 Pandemic: The pandemic intensified feelings of disconnection and exacerbating mental health challenges.
    • Societal division-increased societal division has been linked to higher levels of loneliness:  Many adults are feeling emotionally strained and isolated.
    • Insufficient time with family: 66 percent survey participants as the reason for loneliness.
    • Mental health challenges affecting or harming relationships with others: 60 percent of people who responded to survey rated this as a significant problem.
    • Living in a society that is too individualistic: 58 percent of people named this as a cause for loneliness.
    • No religious or spiritual life: too much focus on one’s own feelings, changing nature of work. Around 50 percent of people who participated in the Harvard survey perceived this as a cause.

    Experts have described loneliness epidemic as complex and multifaceted. As I began my research, I learned that social isolation is not the same as loneliness.

    Harvard research data included anecdotal data. A person said there were plenty of family members around, but not feeling appreciated by them made them feel lonely. Another person reported, “I was surrounded by several people who are present only in my life because I am useful to them.”

    The Harvard researchers found a strong correlation between loneliness and mental health concerns. Eighty-one percent who reported being lonely said they suffered with anxiety or depression, compared to twenty-nine percent of those who less lonely. Troubled feelings, loneliness, anxiety, and depression all feed into each other noted the researchers.

    Caulson, pointed out in her Psychology Today commentary that as people we have traded community for convenience, and connection for efficiency.

    “Friendships have been replaced by group chats that start with memes and end in silence,” said Caulson.

    What does loneliness look like? Loneliness is treated by our bodies as danger notes several experts.

    When connection breaks down, noted Caulson, our nervous system shifts into preservation mode-fight, flight or freeze. Cortisol increases, sleep worsens, blood pressure rises and then over time our risks for dementia, heart disease and early death increases if chronic loneliness is not tackled.

    In therapy or counseling, it may sound like “I am so tired,” “I feel disconnected,” or “I’m busy all the time, but empty.” In everyday life, loneliness may show up as irritability, workaholicism, or an inability to rest.

    How do we fix it? How do we tackle loneliness? Three quarters of the people surveyed by Harvard University researchers highlighted the following solutions:

    • Reach out to family and friends
    • Learn to love myself
    • Learn to be more forgiving of others
    • Find ways to help others.
    • More activities and fun community events
    • Public spaces that are more accessible and connection focused like green spaces and playgrounds.

    Harvard’s “Making Caring Common” researchers reported that “Collective service can provide important connections that relieve loneliness,” they state, as well as “cultivate meaning and purpose and mitigate mental health challenges.”  

    As I noted, loneliness is more than social isolation. Caulson points out that we need to relearn how to belong.

    Over the next few blogs posts, I am going to explore and share more about loneliness. Have you felt lonely? I have.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 11/18/2025 from <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/woman-getting-bored-coronavirus-quarantine-element-vector_24382767.htm”>Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik</a>

    Coulson, LCSW, Whitney. “The Loneliness Epidemic is Worse Than You Think.” 11/7/2025.

    Murthy, Vivek H. 19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States. “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation 2023.” Retrieved on 11/18/2025 from https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf

    Ross, Elizabeth M. “What is Causing Our Epidemic of Loneliness and How Can We Fix It?” 10/25/ 2024. Harvard Graduate School of Education. Retrieved on 11/18/2025 from https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/24/10/what-causing-our-epidemic-loneliness-and-how-can-we-fix-it

  • Perfectionism is a trap, Do not get caught

    June 21, 2025

    Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by a relentless pursuit of flawlessness and high standards. It can manifest as self-motivation and drive to achieve success, but it often leads to anxiety and low self-worth when those standards are not met according to Psychology Today.

    Perfectionism is driven primarily by internal pressure to avoid failure or harsh judgment.

    I had given much thought to perfectionism as a fear of failure. I have a better understanding now that I have done a research into it for this blog.

    I was skimming through my book title on my shelf and came across a Brene Brown’s book that I had not yet read, I Thought It Was Me But It Isn’t. It was published in 2007. What caught my attention was the blurb on the back promoting the book. It read as follows:

    “We spend too much precious time and energy managing perceptions and creating carefully edited versions of ourselves to show to the world. There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate…So we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism, and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection,” wrote author Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., The Dance of Anger.

    Lerner notes Brene Brown’s book is long overdue. It highlights an important truth: our imperfections are what connect us to one another and to our humanity, adding, our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses.  They are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together.

    Psychology Today states on that what makes extreme perfectionism so toxic is that while those in its grip desire success, they are most focused on avoiding failure, resulting in a negative orientation. They don’t believe in unconditional love, expecting others’ affection and approval to be dependent on a flawless performance.

    See how dangerous that can be to our self-esteem, worth, and confidence?

    What are the signs that someone is a perfectionists? According to Psychology Today and VerywellHealth.com, here are some traits:

    • They set unrealistically high expectation for themselves and others.
    • They are quick to find fault and overly critical of mistakes. They can beat themselves up for small mistakes and/or expect too much of other people.
    • They have a fear of failure.
    • They think constantly about their past failures or future goals. They often seek reassurance from others to assume themselves of their worth and aptitude.
    • Yet, some perfectionists are so afraid of receiving negative feedback that they avoid it at all costs. They can get defensive when receiving constructive criticism.
    • They shrug off compliments and forget to celebrate their success.
    • They focus only on results. They are so concerned about hitting that goal and avoiding failure. This prevents them from enjoying the process of growing and striving.
    • They look to specific people in their life for approval and validation.

    What I did not know is there are three kinds of perfectionism or domains:

    • Self-oriented: imposing an unrealistic desire to be perfect on oneself.
    • Other-oriented: imposing unrealistic standards of perfection on others.
    • Socially-prescribed: perceiving unrealistic expectations of perfection from others.

    Perfectionism is a personality trait that can be harmful if taken too far. Although it is not a mental illness itself, it is a common factor in many mental disorders such as anxiety and depression, OCD obsessive compulsive disorder, and Eating disorders.

    Interestingly, meta data studies and analysis, is showing that perfectionism has become more common over the past several decades. In a 2019 study among college students in the USA, Canada, and the United Kingdom, revealed rates of perfectionism increased significantly between 1989 and 2016.

    Dr. Elizabeth Scott, Ph.D wrote that perfection is a double-edged sword. It is the driving force behind a high achiever or it can be a liability.

    Perfectionists, like high achievers, set and work hard to achieve lofty goals. Whereas, a high achiever can be satisfied knowing they did their best and achieved a goal, a perfectionism will accept nothing less than perfection. “Almost perfect is seen as a failure,” wrote Scott.

    I found this contrast interesting, high achievers are often pulled towards their goals by a desire to achieve them. They are happy with any steps in the right direction. However, according to Scott, perfectionists tend to be pushed by a fear of anything less than a perfectly met goal.

    If perfectionism is left unchecked, according to professionals, it can affect daily life and functioning:

    • Time management
    • Relationships
    • Stress levels
    • Physical and mental health.

    In Brown’s book, I Thought It Was Just Me, she shared a story about when she was a new mom trying to work from home. She laid down her two month old daughter down for a nap before a phone interview while at home. Five minutes into the interview, the baby starts crying.  Brown is trying to mute so the interviewers do not hear the baby crying. Brown had an image of balancing being a new mom and working from home, based on a commercial. Realities of motherhood hit hard. Stress of the situation was too much. Brown took herself out of the running for the community research project. It triggered shame, as she did not want to be seen as incapable of balancing motherhood and work. She did not want to be seen as “needing help.”

    My experience with perfectionism has not been a very positive experience. When my younger son with autism was little, many environments triggered sensory overload. I felt bad for his older brother when we had to leave the book store, library, or playground because his younger brother started to act out or get upset. I felt that stare, heard the comments from other moms on the playground, in a playgroup, at the library story time, or in school at the parent teacher organization (PTO) meeting. I sensed criticism from other moms regarding my parenting ability. It made it very difficult to make friends with other moms.  

    Over the years, I have also experienced perfectionism from bosses and co-volunteers. It makes it challenging and demoralizing when you are working hard and at your best, but good is not enough.  It is particularly challenging if the volunteer leader in charge is a perfectionist. Several years back, I was ready to quit an organization that I was part of because of a volunteer leader’s style, manner, lack of flexibility, and approach. I communicated with that person, and we worked out some of the kinks. It was not the best situation, but it was good enough.

    Just remember that the quest for perfection is exhausting and relenting wrote Lerner.

    “Excellence is a value. Perfectionism is an insecurity.”— author unknown.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 6/21/2025 from <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/freedom-concept-illustration_44955439.htm”>Image by storyset on Freepik</a>

    Brown, Ph.D. LMSW,  Brene. I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to ‘I am Enough. Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House, NY. ©2007

    Dorwart, Laura. “Understanding Perfectionism.” Updated on 6/10/2025. Retrieved on 6/21/2025 from https://www.verywellhealth.com/perfectionism-5323816.

    Psychology Today. “Perfectionsim.”  Retrieved on 6/18/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/perfectionism?msockid=24f8ebd9437164501298fedc42c365fc

    Scott, Ph.D. Elizabeth. “Perfectionism: 10 Signs of Perfectionist Traits. When Good Enough Isn’t Good Enough.” 6/172024. Retrieved on 6/21/2025 from https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233