Tag: Power of walking away

  • There is Power in Walking Away

    8/17/2025

    What is the meaning of quitting? The dictionary defines quitting to stop doing something; to give up or resign one’s job or position.

    “Persistence is not always the best decision, certainly not absent context. And context changes,” wrote Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away.

    I found this proverb:   “No matter how far you have gone down the wrong path, turn back.”

    That proverb makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? It is ultimately our decision making now that affects our tomorrows. Why persist if you know that you are going in the wrong direction? Quit, stop, turn back. You have the power to walk away.

    According to Mckenna Princing, people love to tout phrases meant to be encouraging, like “You only fail if you quit, blah blah blah, but the truth is that sometimes quitting is the healthiest option in a not-great situation — or because a better opportunity has come your way.”

    As I noted in my blog last week on quitting, our society prides itself on persistence, perseverance, and grit. What if the situation, project, job, or business is not the best? If persisting could be worse, not better.

    A few months ago, I tried again to find a new way to use my creativity and create a personal ministry. I brainstormed ideas and came up with, “bloom with kindness.” I would make faux floral arrangements to deliver and give to senior centers, assisted living, and nursing homes. At first, I had lots of enthusiasm and energy. I delivered a dozen or more arrangements to about six local senior facilities in early July. Now, the supplies sit on my shelf and table gathering dust. I feel emotionally drained that I do not have the energy to create. I am mentally and emotionally stuck. No doubt about it. Quitting has entered my mind on more than one occasion.

    Throughout my life, I have identified myself as an artist, whether it is drawing, painting, or most recently, floral arranging. When I am not being creative in some way, I feel that I am lost. I had not realized how much of my identity is tied to being creative in some way or another.   Wait, you might say, isn’t writing this blog creative?  Yes, you are right. However, I use my creativity and brain in a different way than drawing, or painting, or even floral arranging. Perhaps, I have defined creativity in a limited manner.

    “Quitters never quit, and quitters never win.” Many in our society have internalized this message, wrote Duke. It is deeply rooted in our culture. So much so that we often stick to the wrong course of action for too long.

    There are positive reasons for quitting, wrote Princing, added that your interests shifted, you got a better offer, you’re moving or are switching careers or simply want a change of pace. However, feeling of wanting to quit can be an indicator as well.

    Signs that you are distressed or under duress:

    • You regularly feel burnt out
    • You’re constantly thinking about it when you’re supposed to be doing other things or resting. 
    • You often avoid it or have a lot of fear around it. 
    • You have a narcissistic or unsupportive leader.  
    • Your health and mental health is suffering.
    • You are being bullied or otherwise disrespected.
    • You are being harassed or discriminated against. 

    Knowing when to quit is an important skill to develop, notes Duke. Duke is a former professional poker player. She won over four million dollars in a professional poker tournament before walking away in 2012. Since that time, she has co-founded the Alliance for Decision Education, which is a nonprofit organization that teaches decision-making skills to students and empowers them.

    According to Duke, it can be exceedingly difficult to walk away and quit. Duke notes a term called “loss aversion.”  It means people tend to look at the money and time that they have invested so far, fear they will lose it if they walk away.

    When choosing among new options, loss aversion causes us to favor the ones that have the lowest absolute loss associated with them, even if those options come at a lower expected value wrote Duke.

    Have you heard of Richard Thaler? In 1980, Thaler was the first to point out to the “sunk cost effect” as a phenomenon, which is a cognitive error that people take into account money, time, effort or other resources they have previously sunk into an endeavor when making decisions about whether to continue and spend more.

    There have been forty years of experiments and field work across many domains that show people behave as Thaler had theorized on “sunk costs”. People do take account of whether to move forward, noted Duke, they do consider what they’ve already spent. They  do this because they “irrationally think” that the only way to recover or justify the costs is if they continue. This thinking and decision-making costs people to stick with something that they should quit.

    Duke states that when “stakes are high” it is hard to walk away from a business, project, investment, or even a relationship. According to Duke, when we are in the losses, we are not only more likely to stick to a losing course of action but also double down. This tendency is called escalation of commitment.

    Escalation of commitment is not just limited to individuals. It is robust and universal in organizations and government entities as continued Duke.

    According to Duke, a rational decision maker would consider only the future costs and benefits in deciding whether to continue with a particular course of action. In other words, if there would be a positive future outcome, the “rational” person would persist and persevere. But if a negative outcome affects value, they will quit.

    Dr. Julia Keller notes that in the wild, perseverance has no special status. “Animals do what they do, because it furthers their agenda: to last long enough to reproduce, ensuring continuation of their genetic material,” adding that the best way to survive as a species is to give up on whatever’s not contributing to survival, to waste as few resources as possible on the ineffective.

    If quitting is the best option to move forward, asks Keller, why don’t we always do it?

    “Quitting is a skill, a survival technique,” wrote Keller. “It’s not, as we humans sometimes treat it, a moral failing. And resisting the impulse to quit isn’t necessarily bravery or noble. It’s nonsensical.” 

    You may be at a point where you must do a soul search to determine the best course of action. If you decide to quit, make the experience meaningful. Although things may not turn out as you had planned, look at what valuable learning opportunities you had, use that to improve your next experience, business, project or job.

    If what you do or have done is part of your personal identity, it will be difficult to quit and walk away. Ask yourself, does what you are doing still serve you or its original purpose? Is it helping you meet goals or holding you back from other opportunities? Perhaps it is time to accept your power to walk away.

    Quitting is not a personal failure or a moral failing, despite what may be held by society or culture. I think it takes guts to walk away. It takes gumption to move past what you have known, it may have worked for you at one point, but now it no longer does. Be brave.

    “There’s a point at which perseverance becomes denial,” said Benjamin Wood.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 8/16/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/flat-illustration-person-being-overwhelmed_24014057.htm#fromView

    Duke, Annie. Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. Portfolio/Penguin. ©2022

    Keller, PhD, Julia. Quitting: A Life Strategy. Balance Books. ©2023.

    Princing, McKenna. “Quitting Isn’t Always Bad. Here’s the Best Way to Do It:.” 12/18/2023. Retrieved on  8/6/2023 from https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/work/how-to-quit-gracefully