Curious and Creative

Tag: psychology

  • Are you aware of who you are?

    April 11, 2025

    Sounds like a deep question. In the here and now, we may not be fully aware of what is happening around us or who you really  are.  We are less aware than we think.

    Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, and researcher. She conducted a multi-year study on self-awareness. Eurich concluded that 95 percent of people believe they are self-aware about how they are perceived, but in reality, only 10-15 percent are.

    Eurich stated that a lack of self-awareness is higher among people with more power, the ones whose cluelessness can do more damage. Eurich defined self-awareness as an  understanding of who we are and how we are seen.

    According to Elizabeth Perry, writer/blogger at Betterup.com, there two types of self-awareness: private self-awareness and public self-awareness. Private involves being aware of internal aspects of self, such as thoughts, feelings, and attitude. Public self-awareness is how we perceive ourselves from the perspective of others. Awareness of how we appear and are evaluated by others.

    In contrast, a lack of self-awareness is a failure to recognize one’s own strengths, weaknesses, and motivations, which makes it difficult to understand others and adapt to changing situations. Eurich’s research finds that people with self-awareness are happier and have better relationships. They also experience a sense of personal and social control, as well as higher job satisfaction.

    “Most people believe they’re above average on every socially desirable characteristic,” noted Dr. Eurich, adding, “the least competent people are the most confident about their abilities and performance.”  In contrast, Eurich stated that those individuals who are self-aware are better performers and more promotable at work. They tend to be happier in personal relationships, as well.

    Though self-awareness is important for job performance, career, success, leadership effectiveness, and personal effectiveness, it is lacking in today’s workplace, according to Dr. Eurich.

    You may have a co-worker that, despite past successes and solid qualifications, they may display a lack of insight of how they are perceived. If you are having trouble with someone, ask yourself, what’s behind the tension? If someone is unaware, there is often a consensus about their behavior.

    Here are some other tell-tale signs that a co-worker may lack self-awareness:

    • They cannot “read the room.” They cannot tailor their message to the audience.
    • They cannot empathize with or take a perspective of others.
    • They can be surprised by people’s reactions. They tend to be focused on intent, instead of their action’s impact.
    • They won’t listen or accept critical feedback.
    • They get defensive about feedback. If your feedback to them triggers a more emotional reaction, they likely had no clue what was happening.
    • They overestimate their contributions to the team. They possess an inflated opinion of their performance.
    • They are hurtful to others without realizing it.
    • They take credit for successes, while blaming others for failures.

    When seeking feedback, do not confront, wrote Liane Davey. Rather, ask questions to help you understand how they would like to be perceived by others. Once you understand what the person is working towards, you can provide a perspective that might help them. Set up ground values with your team, and talk about behavioral expectations as a team. There is no guarantee, wrote Davey, to enhance another’s self-awareness, but you can try.

    Remember, said Eurich, the biggest difference between the unaware and the “Aware-Don’t-Care” are their intentions.  The unaware genuinely want to be collaborative and effective, but don’t know they’re falling short. 

    What if you are the one who lacks self-awareness? High self-awareness is a rare skill. It is important, wrote Perry, as it allows leaders to assess their growth, and change course when necessary. When we develop self-awareness, we enhance our decision-making, improve relationships, recognize our emotional triggers, then better able to manage our reactions and regulate our emotions.

    It will take hard work and time to increase and develop self-awareness. Ask “what” questions, like, “What can I do to improve my confidence?”

    “What was I experiencing at the time?”

    “What was happening in the room at the time?”

    Ask others what their perceptions are of you. This may be very difficult, particularly if we have become emotional or underplayed our behavior. Keep a journal, and practice mindfulness and deep breathing.

    One step at a time. I will end this blog post with this quote: “Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”
    ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 4/11/2025 from <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/mental-health-awareness-concept_7974025.htm”>Image by pikisuperstar on Freepik</a>

    California Learning Resource Network (CLRN) “What is a blind spot in psychology?” 11/18/2024. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from What is a blind spot in psychology? –

    Davey, Lianne. “How to Deal with Someone who is not Self Aware”. 6/4/2023. Retrieved on 4/7/2025 from https://lianedavey.com/how-to-deal-with-someone-who-is-not-self-aware/

    Eurich, Tasha. “Difficult Conversations: Working with People Who Aren’t Self-Aware.” 10/19/2018. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2018/10/working-with-people-who-arent-self-aware

    Perry, Elizabeth. “How to Develop Self-Awareness and Unlock Your Full Potential.” Betterup.com. 2/6/2025. Retrieved on 4/7/2025 from https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-self-awareness

    Talesnik, Dana. “Eurich Explores Why Self-Awareness Matters.” Pillars of Insight. June 28, 2019. Vol. LXXI, no. 13. Retrieved on 4/7/2025 from https://nihrecord.nih.gov/2019/06/28/eurich-explores-why-self-awareness-matters

  • Do You Stuff Emotions Deep Inside Without Realizing it?

    April 4, 2025

    Did you learn that some or all emotions were hurtful, wrong, or undesired? As humans, we can use emotional repression as a defense mechanism. People who are repressing emotions may use other techniques that do not match their feelings. They might be confused as they might feel angry, or anxious in a situation, but don’t understand why they are feeling this way.

    Repressed emotions are often connected to difficult experiences in the past, so trying to navigate it all alone can be overwhelming, wrote Andrea Darcy and Skyler King on the Harley Therapy website.

    As humans, we can repress emotions that our unconscious deems undesirable. Examples include:

    • Shame: when a person’s family, community or culture views certain emotions as shameful or unacceptable. A person may repress those emotions to avoid rejection or judgment.
    • Emotional intensity: sometimes people feel they cannot manage the painful emotions, as they are overwhelming.
    • Lack of awareness: Perhaps a person did not grow up in a home or environment that encouraged people to think about, much less express emotions as a result they did not learn how.

    Anna Freud, Sigmund’s daughter, defined repression as a defense mechanism, whose goal is to protect the ego from stress. Freud theorized that the inability to outwardly express emotion would cause it to become an inwardly harmful emotion. Over the long term, a person may display unhelpful emotions or behaviors to repress unwanted emotion.

    Prior to Anna Freud, her father, Sigmund, theorized that repressed emotions could later resurface through dreams, slips of the tongue known as the Freudian slip, or psychological distress. Since that time, repression has been a subject of debate among psychologists and researchers.

    As humans, we use both repression and suppression to try to protect ourselves. It is interesting that people can sometimes use “repressed emotions” and “suppressed emotions” interchangeably.  However, there is a key difference between repression and suppression of emotions.  According to Medical News Today, the difference lies in the process.  Repression is an unconscious, automatic blocking of thoughts and feelings, while suppression is a conscious and deliberate effort to avoid or hide emotions. When we feel grief, it might get expressed as anger. As another example, we may suppress our grief at work or among friends but feel the grief at home when we are alone.

    Psychoanalysts believe that repressed emotions can have an impact on thoughts, behavior and our health, noted Medical News Today. Though repression is a common concept in psychology and psychoanalysis, there is little scientific research on its effects.

    Repression can be a result of traumatic or distressing events. It’s a powerful defense mechanism. It acts as a psychological shield to help navigate life, without being burdened by distressing experiences, wrote Curtis.  Additionally, repression can be associated with a multitude of experiences, such as traumatic events from childhood, repressed or unfulfilled desires, phobias, irrational fears, and negative self-image.

    How can emotional repression show up in your life? It may mean you rarely open to others, which could be the real you are hidden away while you are making others laugh. You may have few close relationships, or you struggle with your fear of intimacy.

    According to Darcy, being emotionally repressed can make life difficult, and can be connected to serious psychological issues. If you are emotionally repressed, you may hate being asked how you feel about something or someone though the question, maybe innocently asked by another. You may feel speechless, powerless, or confused.

    Health writer Lindsay Curtis noted people might repress unwanted memories of past relationships, traumatic childhood experiences, taboo desires, or strong emotions that relate to negative or uncomfortable experiences.

    The impact of repression on mental health could lead to a higher risk of certain mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, and substance abuse disorders.

    Angelica Attard, Ph.D. gave her insight into repression. She concurred that repression emotions can lead to negative mental and physical health outcomes. It is crucial to acknowledge and process emotions for well-being and emotional balance. Like a physical wound that can fester, an accumulation of unaddressed emotions can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. The increase in cortisol that comes with stress has an impact on our heart rates, motivation, and sleep.

    “As a species, we are primed to avoid pain and suffering to ensure survival,” wrote Attard.

    Varied research sources point out that those who repress emotions struggle to cope.  In the short-term, individuals may use unhealthy ways of coping, like over-eating, substance abuse, or misused prescribed medications. Furthermore, repression’s impact is not just on mental health; it affects our physical well-being. Research shows that pain levels related to chronic illnesses, such as cancer or arthritis, are higher in emotionally repressed people. We may also experience:

    • Muscle pain and tension
    • Headaches and migraines
    • Insomnia or restless sleep
    • Digestive issues like stomachaches, indigestion or nausea
    • Weakened immune system.
    • High blood pressure or other cardiovascular issues
    • Chronic Fatigue

    Attard noted, as children, we internalize the messages we hear and learn that having negative emotions and acknowledging them is not a good thing. Furthermore, not having someone model how to express and cope with emotions may lead to the development of coping strategies that focus on avoiding and inhibiting negative emotions.

    According to Curtis, seeking out a licensed mental health professional can help determine the best therapeutic approach for effectively addressing and healing from repressed emotions. Taking part in counseling with a trained counselor or psychotherapist can create a safe environment for you to access and process old emotions.

    “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”— Sigmund Freud.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 4/3/2025 from Freepik.com

    Attard, Ph.D., Angelica. “Repressed Emotions: How to Stop Suppressing Emotions.” 11/4/2020. Retrieved on 3/25/2025 from https://positivepsychology.com/repress-emotions/

    California Learning Resource Network (CLRN) “What is a blind spot in psychology?” 11/18/2024. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from What is a blind spot in psychology? –

    Curtis, Lindsay. “Understanding Repression in Psychology.” 9/5/2023. Retrieved on 3/25/2025 from https://www.verywellhealth.com/repression-7775455

    Darcy, Andrea M. and Skyler King. “Are You Emotionally Repressed? H ow to Tell?”3/6/2023. Retrieved on 3/25/2025 from https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/emotionally-repressed-signs.htm

    Medical News Today. “Repressed Emotions: Signs and Impact”. Retrieved on 3/301/2025 from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/repressed-emotions

  • Defense Mechanisms: Our Unconscious’ Way of Protecting Ourselves

    3/30/2025

    How do we protect ourselves from overwhelm, stress, or anxiety? Our brains have developed psychological  strategies, known as “defense mechanisms,” that are unconsciously used to protect us from anxiety, arising from unacceptable thoughts or feelings that we might have.  

    In the late 19th century and early 20th century, psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud first developed the idea of defense mechanisms. He said that defense mechanisms involve a distortion of reality, so that we are better able to cope with a situation. He initially produced seven mechanisms:  denial, displacement, projection, rationalization, reaction formation, repression, and sublimation.

    Freud believed that defense mechanisms helped shield the ego from the conflicts created by the id, superego, and reality. Freud proposed that the human psyche is composed of three parts: the id (primitive instincts), the ego (the rational self), and the superego (the moral conscience). Psychological distress occurs from conflicts between these three components.

    Anna Freud, a psychoanalyst in her own right, built upon her father’s ideas. Freud focused on the ego’s role in managing conflict and anxiety. She authored the book The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense, which was published in 1936. This book is considered a landmark work in psychoanalytic theory, providing a systematic exploration of these mechanisms. 

    “Defense mechanisms are subconscious strategies our mind employs to protect us from emotional harm or unpleasant truths, potentially creating blind spots in our self-awareness and understanding,” wrote Anna Freud.

    Many of the mental defense mechanisms we develop are used to protect ourselves from anxiety, stress, or overwhelming emotions. According to several online sources, denial is the most often used as humans.

    “Defense mechanisms are subconscious strategies our mind employs to protect us from emotional harm or unpleasant truths, potentially creating blind spots in our self-awareness and understanding,” wrote Anna Freud.

    Here are some examples of other defense mechanisms used:

    • Someone who consistently blames their partner for their own shortcomings might be using projection.
    • A person who avoids discussing a traumatic event might be using repression.
    • Someone who becomes overly focused on details to avoid emotional distress might be using intellectualization.

    When I get stressed or anxious, I tend to take out my frustration on my spouse. I am snippy or sarcastic to avoid the real reason that I am upset. Sometimes I avoid a topic as it is too sensitive to a subject that makes me uncomfortable and vulnerable. Admittedly, I have not figured out yet what to do instead. My husband describes me as an onion, he must peel back many layers of emotion before he gets to the core of my true angst. I know I have a long way to go in some areas.

    The human brain does this so to distance itself from unwanted feelings and threats, such as guilt or shame according to Sun Behavioral Delaware.

    According to website Psychotricks.com, it is important and crucial that we understand the defense mechanisms that we use to increase our self-awareness and growth.

    How do you recognize the use of defense mechanisms in yourself? Pay attention to your behavior. Notice where there are patterns when you get upset.

    Ask yourself and keep in mind:

    • Do you make excuses for your behavior?
    • Do you avoid topics of conversation?
    • Do you take out your frustration on your spouse after a distressing day?
    • Do you deny an event happening or minimize its impact since it is difficult to talk about?

    Our use of denial, repression, and projection, for example, may help protect ourselves from difficult feelings, situations, or events; but only offers temporary relief. However, mental health professionals have indicated that long term use is detrimental to our mental health, hinders our growth, and impacts our relationships, as well as our communication.

    Resources:

    Image Retrieved on 3/30/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/top-view-people-head-shapes-cogwheels_25629260.htm#fromView

    California Learning Resource Network (CLRN) “What is a blind spot in psychology?” 11/18/2024. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from What is a blind spot in psychology? –

    Contemporary Psychology. “Freud’s Defense Mechanisms.” Retrieved on 3/21/2025 from https://www.contemporarypsychology.com.au/freuds-defence-mechanisms/#:~:text=Meaning%20of%20Defence%20Mechanisms%20Freud

    Denys, A “Decoding Defense Mechanisms: How Your Mind Protects Itself.” 12/25/2024.Psycho Tricks. Retrieved on 3/21/2025 from https://psychotricks.com/defense-mechanisms/

    Kelland, Mark D. “Anna Freud and Ego Psychology.” Retrieved on 3/21/2025 https://socialsci.libretexts.org/Bookshelves/Psychology/Culture_and_Community/Personality_Theory_in_a_Cultural_Context

     Wikipedia. Retrieved on 3/21/2025 from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigmund_Freud

    Mistry LN, Neelkanthan S, Deshpande SS, Jawdekar AM, Shah PP, Khachane NA. Matters of the Mind: A Look into the Life of Sigmund Freud. Cureus. 2024 Oct 15;16(10): e71562. doi: 10.7759/cureus.71562. PMID: 39552960; PMCID: PMC11563769.Retrieved on 3/21/2025 from https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11563769/

    Psych2Go. “Ten Psychological Defense Mechanisms” Video. Retrieved on 3/21/2025 from 10 Psychological Defense Mechanisms

    Social Neuro. “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Freud but Were Afraid to Ask.”  Retrieved on 3/21/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=PAxafcn_SWg

    Tan, Dr. Emily. Uncovering the Meaning of Blind Spots in Psychology.Retrieved on 3/21/2025 from Uncovering the Meaning of Blind Spots in Psychology – Listen-Hard

  • Whether we like it or not, we have unconscious biases

    March 21, 2025

    human head with open door dark background for mental health vector

    What are unconscious biases? An unconscious bias refers to the ingrained assumptions, beliefs, and associations we hold outside of our conscious awareness. Sometimes also called implicit biases, these mental short codes inform our decision-making and interactions with those around us — without our knowledge.

    Charles Ruhl noted he term implicit bias was first coined in 1995 by psychologists Mahzarin Banaji and Anthony Greenwald, who argued that social behavior is largely influenced by unconscious associations and judgments.

     A growing body of psychology research points to an uncomfortable truth about decision making.  Unconscious bias influences all of us, and even the simplest decisions we make, as noted on the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Network website.

    Our unconscious biases are not just shaped by our personal history, but also by opinions of people we trust, plus cultural norms, wrote Jory McKay. There are various internal and external factors that creep into our decision-making equation, without our permission or awareness.

    Gender, beauty, conformity, affinity, and confirmation are some types of unconscious biases. These biases often arise from trying to find patterns and navigate the overwhelming stimuli in this complicated world. Culture, media, and upbringing can also contribute to the development of such biases.

     What is dangerous about implicit bias is that it automatically seeps into a person’s affect or behavior and is outside of the full awareness of that person. These biases are shaped by our cultural environment, upbringing, and firsthand experiences, leading us to make decisions or judgments based on assumptions without being aware of them, reported by MacKay.

    We must be concerned, cautioned MacKay, that our unconscious biases are natural.  They aren’t necessarily right or fair.

    To talk about bias, people often get uncomfortable. The most difficult people to learn about  fairness are people who value fairness the most. People who really care about being fair often can push away the idea that there is unconscious bias, commented Kimberly Papillon, Esq. Judicial Lecturer, Neuroscience and Law at Georgetown University.

    Papillon stated in a video online that what’s interesting about unconscious bias is that it doesn’t automatically make us bad people. What it does sometimes is make us do things that don’t align with our value system.

    The unconscious brain, however, is filled with information that you have stored away over your lifetime, forming unconscious biases. You can change your unconscious biases if you want to, but it will take effort, wrote Rebekah Kuschmider.

    Our implicit biases are malleable, which means you can change them, wrote Kuschmider. Since our implicit biases are created from our life experiences, but they can change as we add new and different life experiences.

    Our implicit or unconscious biases are different than our conscious thoughts, words, and actions. Our biases are inherently human according to Papillon. We react to what is unfamiliar or threatening to us.

    We can learn about ourselves once we learn about our implicit biases with help of others, we challenge ourselves to influence and change our unconsciousness. There are a few ways that I have learned about:

    • Challenge yourself to meet new people.
    • Connect with people who defy stereotypes,
    • Cultivate conscious empathy, and
    • Participate in bias training.
    • Participate in mindfulness training.

    “It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.”

    – Jonathan Swift

    Resources:

    Image by starline on Freepik. Retrieved 3/22/2025

    CLRN Team. “What is a blind spot in Psychology?”  11/18/2024. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from https://www.clrn.org/what-is-a-blind-spot-in-psychology.

    Georgetown University’s National Center for Cultural Competence. “Two Types of Bias”:  Retrieved on 3/14/2025 from https://nccc.georgetown.edu/bias/module3/1.php#:~:text=Implicit%20or%20unconscious%20bias%20operates,full%20awareness%20of%20that%20person

    Georgetown University’s National Center for Cultural Competence. “How It Is Possible” How Well-Meaning People Act in Ways that Contradict their Values and Belief Systems.”  Retrieved on 3/14/2025 from https://nccc.georgetown.edu/bias/module-3/2.php

    “How It Is Possible” How Well-Meaning People Act in Ways that Contradict their Values and Belief Systems”. Retrieved on 3/14/2025 from https://nccc.georgetown.edu/bias/module-3/2.php.

    Kuschmider, Rebekah. “How to Unlearn Unconscious Bias.” 821/2021. Retrieved on 3/14/2025 from https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/how-to-unlearn-unconscious-bias.

    MacKay, Jory. “How to Overcome Your Unconscious”. October 2024. Retrieved on 3/14/2025 from https://plan.io/blog/unconscious-bias-examples/.

    Six Seconds (Emotional Intelligence Network). Retrieved on 3/20/2025 from https://www.6seconds.org/2018/09/04/the-science-of-unconscious-bias-what-colors-our-lenses-why-it-changes-our-decisions-and-how-to-keep-clear/

    human head with open door dark background for mental health vector

    Ruhl, Charles. “Implicit Bias (Unconscious Bias): Definition & Examples.” 8/2/2023. Retrieved on 3/20/2025 fromhttps://www.simplypsychology.org/implicit-bias.html

  • Our Shadows Can Betray Us and Impact Our relationships

    March 14, 2025

    Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung first coined the term ”shadow” to describe aspects of our psyches that have been relegated to the unconscious. Jung believed that our shadow selves contain repressed emotions, thoughts, desires, insecurities, and fears. He theorized every individual has an inherent tendency to project their own unconscious thoughts, feelings, and motivations onto others, often as a defense mechanism.

    Today, psychologists’ theories have evolved since Jung. They refer to these shadows as psychological blind spots. This is an essential concept in understanding cognitive biases and how they influence our behavior, relationships, and decision-making processes, reported the California Learning Resource Network.

    “Psychological blind spots are those personal characteristics that we do not want to recognize,” wrote Jennifer Delgado, adding, the problem with psychological blind spots is that we assume these biases as trustworthy, thinking that we are immune to them, so we deceive ourselves.

    According to Ron Passfield, Ph.D, blind spots can negatively impact every facet of our lives including decisions and relationships as they are often due to cognitive biases and personal defense mechanisms. Additionally, our blind spots often manifest in our reactivity to stimuli whatever form they take.

    Interestingly, Jung believed that our shadow selves are not evil or negative but a natural part of human nature.

    According to a 2002 study by Princeton University social psychologists, we are unable to see our blind spots or recognize the impact of our biases and limitations on our judgment, behavior, and decisions. However, we do not have problems to recognize them in others, but we may have motivated ignorance to protect the image that we have formed of ourselves.

    According to the California Learning Resource Network, there are a combination of factors that emerge to form blind spots:

    • Unconscious biases
    • Defense mechanisms
    • Emotional repression
    • Lack of self-awareness
    • Cognitive dissonance

    Next week, I will delve into the ways that our blind spots emerge. Our blind spots can manifest in various parts of our lives: relationships, professional lives, and our self perception. I will touch upon these in upcoming blog posts in the next several weeks.

    As we become aware of our blind spots, we face them and can break free of their influence. Psychologists and counselors suggest that we can acknowledge our blind spots in several different ways including pursuing self reflection, seek feedback and constructive criticism, practice mindfulness, self-compassion and seek professional help.

    Today, I will leave you with this quote:

    “Do not believe everything you think, said Allan Lokos, author of Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living. “Thoughts are just that – thoughts. You cannot control the results, only your actions.” 

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 3/14/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/smiling-person-crowd-concept_6625250.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=36&uuid=580b87f2-77fd-4880-af42-698f2536661f&query=psychological+blind+spots

    CLRN Team. “What is a blind spot in Psychology?”  11/18/2024. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from https://www.clrn.org/what-is-a-blind-spot-in-psychology.

    Delgado, Jennifer. “Psychological Blind Spots: What you do not know about you weakens you.” Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from https://psychology-spot.com/psychological-blind-spots/

    Lokkos, Allan. Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living. Penguin Publishing Group. NY, NY ©2012

    Nguyen, Joseph. “Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking is the Beginning & End of Suffering.” Full audio book. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from ‘Don’t Believe Everything You Think’ Full-Length Audiobook (From The Author) – YouTube

    Oppong, Thomas. “Beware of Your Shadow Self-Carl Jung: On Accepting Yourself completely.” Medium.com 5/3/2023 Retrieved from Beware of Your Shadow Self — Carl Jung | by Thomas Oppong | Personal Growth | Medium

    Passfield, Ron. “Identifying our Blind Spots Through Observation and Reflection.” GrowMindfulness.com. January 25,2022. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from https://growmindfulness.com/identifying-our-blind-spots-through-observation-and-reflection/

    Tan, Emily. “Uncovering the Meaning of Blind Spots in Psychology.” Listen-Hard.com 2/8/2024 updated. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from Uncovering the Meaning of Blind Spots in Psychology – Listen-Hard

  • Do You Fear Failing?

    March 7, 2025

    Do you feel drained and fatigued? Do you have low energy? Are you dissatisfied with life? You may not realize it, but what you’re feeling are effects of fear on your body and mind.

    Fear is one of the most powerful forces in life, wrote Theo Tsaousides, Ph.D. Fear affects the decisions you make, the actions you take, and the outcomes you achieve. Fear also comes in different forms. If you are seeking success, the fear of failure could have the most direct impact on you.

    Dr. Diane Hamilton described fear at its core as a reluctance to delve into the unknown. Fear is defined as being overly cautious or reluctant to act to avoid consequences.  The reasons could range from the ridiculous to deadly serious. It includes fear of failure, fear of making life altering changes, fear of looking stupid or ignorant, and fear of reexperiencing something negative from childhood.

    Did you know that there is a word for the fear of failure?  It’s called “atychiphobia,” and according to the Cleveland Clinic, atychiphobiais an intense fear of failure. There are three key points about the fear of failure: it has a paralyzing effect, it involves emotional distress, and it brings procrastination.As the anxiety and anticipation of potential failure can be more debilitating than the aftermath of a mistake, it often leads to avoidance behaviors and missed opportunities to learn and grow. 

    The constant worry about failing can prevent people from taking risks, trying new things, and holding us back from achieving goals.A fear of failing can often make us feel worse than actual failure. Personal experiences with failure can cause us to develop an intense fear of failure in the future.

    Researchers have found that the fear of failure is multifaceted. According to Dr. Tsaousides, there are different types of consequences that we fear we will suffer, should we fail. Each time we experience the fear of failure, it may be for a different reason. Some of the reasons included, but not limited to, is the belief that failure is embarrassing, you don’t have what it takes to succeed, you are stuck, you will let people down, or that you are irrelevant.

    According to the Cleveland Clinic, fear of failure is self-fulfilling. Those that fear failure might put off tasks or important decisions, due to an anticipation of potential negative outcomes.

    According to Dr. Tsaousides, fear of failure is the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral reaction to the negative consequences you anticipate for failing to achieve a goal.

    Behavioral scientists, psychologists, and counselors encourage us to not shy away from fear, but instead, move toward risk. From my personal experience, that is easier said than done. Fear of failure is a psychological barrier that prevents people from taking risks.

    Podcast host Paul Colaianni of “The Overwhelmed Brain” has said that the fear of failing can be imagined as so traumatic and painful to some, that they literally do nothing instead. What does failure mean for you? If you define it, you might have a better understanding what we really fear.

    Our natural inclination to fear might be to pull away and avoid facing the fear. I found this  quote from Marc Jabobs: “Curiosity is what draws you of your comfort zone; fear is what draws you back in.”

    Jacobs makes some key points: curiosity is a positive motivator and driving force. But fear is a restraint. It holds you back from venturing too far of the comfort zone. There is an internal struggle to stay safe and our desire to explore.  We need to find a balance.

    “Fear of failure keeps you safe, but small,” wrote Dr. Tsaousides.

    Psychologist Dr. Lisabeth Saunders Metlock points out that our mistakes and failures are gifts, gems, and guideposts in our learning and growth as people. Rather than shy away, we need to instead embrace failures, mistakes, screw ups and shortcomings, because they not only make us uniquely who we are, they also teach us powerful lessons.

    Dr. Metlock shared a few ways of changing our perspectives:

    • Mistakes can teach us what we really want and help us reevaluate our lives. Mistakes and failures can help us focus on issues and problems that take us off track.
    • Mistakes and failures give us a reality check. When we experience consequences of our actions, we can get a clear message of what efforts are working and what efforts are not.
    • Mistakes teach us to accept ourselves that we can be flawed and be loved. Mistakes also teach us about responsibility.
    • Admitting and facing our mistakes and failures can take us straight to the hear of our fears.

    “Taking responsibility for a failure may not be fun. But the act of doing so points out what we can do differently next time,” wrote Dr. Saunders Metlock.

    As my research continues, I have found that we cannot beat a fear, failure, or mistake until we face it. We cannot face a fear until we can define it. I have discovered that since beginning this blog writing journey curiosity has indeed become antidote to my fears and anxieties. My curiosity has grown and evolved. I noticed a level of decreased anxiety. My personal experience is that curiosity can indeed be a counterforce to my fear of failure.

    In my journey to learn and be curious, I came across a terrific interviews was from the radio show “On Being,” with host Krista Tippet and author Elizabeth Gilbert. The interview took place in September 2016. While the interview was eight years ago, the wisdom that was shared touched my heart.

    “I think curiosity is our friend that teaches us how to become ourselves, said Gilbert, “and it’s a very gentle friend, and a very forgiving friend, and a very constant one.”

    Fear can cause us to make terrible decisions about of our lives, what we see, and how we react. Life can be a risky affair. It is important to step outside of ourselves, develop a friendly curiosity of others.

    I am going to dig out my copy of Big Magic and reread it this year. From Gilbert’s book Big Magic, “Living a life is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear.” I am going to challenge myself to continue living by curiosity, and less by fear. One way that I will continue to do that is writing this blog, Curious and Creative.

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 3/7/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/search?format=search&last_filter=page&last_value=2&page=2&query=failure&type=vector#uuid=d8abbd63-c53b-44cf-8445-ac0ea62fb19f

    Colaianni, Paul. The Overwhelmed Brain: “When the fear of failure stops you from doing anything and everything.” Episode 392. 2/21/2021. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from in

    Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22555-atychiphobia-fear-of-failure

    Gilbert, Elizabeth. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. Riverhead Books, NY. ©2015.

    Hamilton, Diane. “What is Fear and How Does It Affect Curiosity and Innovation?”. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.futurelearn.com/info/courses/developing-curiosity/0/steps/156554

    Knight, Dr. Terralon Cannon. “Tools to Overcome Fear of Failure.” TEDxUniversity of South Africa Women.  Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTHXa8OzzZs.

    Samit, Jay. “It’s Time to Disrupt You!” TEDx Augusta. 2017. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1SlbTZyaWE

    Saunders Medlock, Ph.D. Lisabeth. “Don’t Fear Failure:  Nine Powerful  Lessons We Can Learn From  Our Mistakes.” 1/4/2015. Retrieved on 2/24/2025 from Don’t Fear Failure: Nine Powerful Lessons We Can Learn From Our Mistakes | HuffPost Life

    Tippett, Krista, host. “Choosing Curiosity Over Fear”. On-Being. September 5, 2016. Daily Good. Retrieved on 2/27/2025 from https://www.dailygood.org/story/1376/choosing-curiosity-over-fear-on-being/.

    Tsaousides, Theo, Ph.D. “Why Fear of Failure Can Keep You Stuck.” Psychologytoday.com 12/27/2017. Retrieved on 2/24/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smashing-the-brainblocks/201712/why-fear-failure-can-keep-you-stuck?msockid=24f8ebd9437164501298fedc42c365fc

  • Curiosity Enhances Our Connections with Others

    2/21/2025

    Curiosity acts as a powerful catalyst. Curiosity, like other skills that power our emotional intelligence, is a practice wrote Erin Walsh. This is the kind of curiosity that connects us.

    Curiosity and wonder can also foster creativity, improve well-being, and deepen interpersonal relationships, wrote Nicole Whiting, MA. Curiosity and wonder are intertwined psychological states that enrich our mental and emotional lives and enhance engagement with the world.

    However, recent studies have shown that, as humans, we are experiencing loneliness at a higher rate. Harvard has conducted the longest in-depth study of Adult Development. It has studied adult physical and mental well-being. Harvard’s findings have shown that relationships not only make us happier, but keep us healthier too.

    In a world that is more divisive, with demands of remote work and working longer hours, people have struggled to foster feelings of belonging. Feeling of loneliness is taking a big toll on our well-being, noted Davis.

    According to Whiting, curiosity and wonder make our social interactions richer by helping us form deeper bonds. People who are curious tend to engage more meaningfully, while trying to understand others’ views.

    Davis wrote that we could decrease our loneliness and fulfill our need to belong by enhancing and increasing our curiosity.

    “When you show curiosity and you ask questions, and find out something interesting about another person, people disclose more, share more, and they return the favor, asking questions of you,” said Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., director of George Mason University’s Well-Being Lab.

    According to Kashdan, it is better to be interested in others than interesting.

    Curiosity can connect us with others noted Walsh and Kashdan. Curiosity has been found to expand our empathy, strengthen relationships, increase collaboration, and improve wellbeing.

    Davis said curiosity leads to opportunities to connect with others and find a sense of belonging. At the conclusion of a three-week course, Davis concluded that students enjoyed the training, they most look forward to connecting with each other even more during the live weekly calls. They yearned for more time to connect with one another.

    Curiosity is an initiative-taking facet of wonder according to Davis. It can spur us to learn more, propel us to become more engaged in new experiences and seek novel perspectives. Through these new experiences, we can connect with others in enriching and meaningful ways.

    It is important to encourage this kind of curiosity. However, we need to be aware of and acknowledge any personal biases and assumptions that we have could shut down our curiosity Walsh. It is also important to move towards and embrace our feelings and emotions, even painful ones. If you can feel your own sadness or grief, you may be more open to and curious about the grief of others.

    Here are a few ways to use curiosity to enhance our connections:

    • Show that you care by showing a genuine interest in others; this can help ease jitters of others.
    • Ask open-ended questions that elicit detailed responses and encourage a deeper level of conversation. This can encourage others to open. If you are not used to doing this, it will take practice. Be patient.
    • Practice active listening. Pause. Take a moment to take in their reply. Perhaps ask a follow-up question. Be genuinely interested.
    • Be willing to be vulnerable. People will respond to this and may reply by sharing their own vulnerabilities.
    • Invite people to share their personal stories. Seek out people who have different experiences than your own. Let your curiosity take the wheel.

    Showing a person that you care about is crucial to gaining their trust and interest advised Notas.

    Resources:

    Image by freepik

    Davis, Jeffrey, M.A. “Curiosity: A Surprising Key to Belonging. How Wonder can lead you toward more authentic connections.” March 20,2023. Retrieved on 2/16/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tracking-wonder/202303/curiosity-a-surprising-key-to-belonging

    Kashdan, Todd.

    Notas, Nick. “Embrace Curiosity and Connect with More People.” Retrieved on 2/16/2025 from https://www.nicknotas.com/blog/embrace-curiosity-and-connect-with-more-people/

    Walsh, Erin. “The Connective Power of Curiosity: Why Getting Curious is Key to Our Person and Collective Wellbeing.” Spark & Stitch Institute. Posted 12/5/2023. Retrieved on 2/16/2025 from https://sparkandstitchinstitute.com/the-connective-power-of-curiosity/#:~:text=One%20study%20demonstrated%20that%20curious,emotional%20intelligence%2C%20is%20a%20practice.

    Whiting, Nicole, MA. “The Case for Curiosity: How a wonder-driven life enhances well-being.” May 16, 2024. Retrieved on 2/16/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-limits/202404/the-case-for-curiosity#:~:text=Deepening%20Interpersonal%20Connections%2C%20Enhancing%20Well-Being%2C

  • Curiosity Can Deepen Our Understanding of Ourselves

    February 13, 2025

    Did you know that curiosity helps us develop mind management skills that can lead to personal autonomy? The idea of becoming more autonomous is intriguing.

    Mind management skills include critical thinking, a questioning attitude, and ability to explore different perspectives. These skills will ultimately lead to better self-awareness.

    Blogger and Podcaster Avik Chakraborty shared that curiosity and non-judgment are essential elements of awareness. Curiosity is what drives you to learn and explore new things. Non-judgment is what allows you to accept yourself and others without criticism.

    How important is self-awareness? Writer Jonathan Park pointed out that “Without the self-awareness to accurately judge our knowledge and capabilities, we can overestimate our abilities, oversimplify the world we live in, and overlook the skills of others.”

    Park wrote that a lack of self-awareness can lead to overconfidence. When we are overconfident with our skills and fail to adopt curiosity and self-awareness with our learning, we only evaluate ourselves from our limited and highly subjective perspective.

    My research has revealed that curiosity is key in stimulating our learning. This includes learning about us. Curiosity also improves our self-awareness. Curiosity enhances critical thinking because it encourages us to question the status quo. It opens our minds so we can look at a situation from several angles. Curiosity promotes adaptability and flexibility.

    Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf stated that through asking yourself questions, you can gain a sense of your own abilities and learn how you can adapt and change to improve your life. She also noted that when we become more mindful of our own thoughts and emotions, we can become better at understanding our internal processes.

    Curiosity creates an energy and neurochemical flow through the brain that results in an increasingly malleable state in the relevant brain networks wrote Leaf. When in this malleable state, our brain allows you to reorganize, change and expand the memories housed within a thought structure.

    Chakraborty wrote that there are several ways that we increase our awareness: pay attention to our thoughts and feelings throughout our day, and journal about our experiences, thoughts and feelings. Meditate or practice mindfulness. Perhaps talk with a friend or therapist about your experiences.

    Resilience Coach Russell Harvey suggested- that curiosity increases positivity. Being more curious is intricately linked with greater life satisfaction and stronger overall mental wellbeing. Like Dr. Leaf, Harvey said that being curious about us is an effective way to increase our awareness because it encourages us to ask questions and reflect.

    Learn with curiosity, not our egos. If we learn something to become an expert, we can make false assumptions, and could make brash generalizations and misconceptions, wrote Park.

    Leaf wrote that using this method of asking ourselves questions is more effective in reconceptualizing our minds. Through this process, we can distance ourselves from what we are thinking about.

    I invite you to move to a quiet area and take a few moments to ask yourself the following: What thoughts weigh you down? What are your thoughts trying to tell you? Articulate what your thoughts are now. You can write down your answers in a journal or notebook. Become curious about the answers that you give. Reflect on how you answer the questions. Learn a little more about yourself.

    Park also suggested checking your assumptions. Assumptions may be misleading, incomplete or inaccurate.

    I think this is good advice. You may even have assumptions about yourself. I know I have had made assumptions about myself. These were less than helpful. This where asking self-reflective questions can be key.

    Challenge your beliefs and expectations to minimize making assumptions. Take the time to validate your resources. This is where curiosity comes in handy. It helps you find credible and diverse sources of information when learning about a new subject.

    Curiosity can give us a deeper and richer life as we begin to have a better understanding of who we are, our thoughts, and our mental and emotional well-being stated Leaf.

    Lead with curiosity.

    Resources:

    image found on Freepik.com

  • Curiosity Can Change Your Brain Health for the Better

    February 6, 2025

    image from freepik.com

    Did you know that curiosity can change your brain health for the better?

    “Curiosity is a crucial aspect of managing your mind, which is the driving life force,” stated Dr. Caroline Leaf, a clinical neuroscientist.

    Research has found that curiosity plays a key role in stimulating brain activity. It helps form new neural connections. It also enhances learning and memory by activating the brain’s reward system and promoting dopamine release. Due to these changes, curiosity can increase your well-being and longevity.

    Curiosity is such a basic component of our nature, that we are oblivious to its pervasiveness in our lives stated neuroscientists Celeste Kidd and Benjamin Hayden who authored the psychological study “The Psychology and Neuroscience of Curiosity.”

    Interest in the impact of curiosity has spread, and more research is being conducted on curiosity and its impact on our brains. Other researchers have found that curiosity plays a fundamental role for learning and memory. Matthias Gruber and Charan Ranganath, researchers at UC Davis, summarized that the neural mechanisms that stimulate curiosity and its effect on memory are poorly understood.

    In 2014 psychology researchers conducted and published a study on curiosity at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia. One of the leading researchers, Dr. Amy Reichelt, wrote that stimulating curiosity is important across all ages, from schools to the workplace to senior living and elder care. These research findings will implicate areas such as medicine and education.

    UNSW study findings revealed three things:

    First, when people are curious to learn the answer to a question, they are better at learning the added information.

    Second, when curiosity is stimulated, there is an increase in hippocampus activity. The hippocampus is the region of the brain associated with memory.

    Third, when curiosity is stimulated there is increased activity in regions of the brain that are associated with reward.

    “Asking questions and being curious about everything that is your life is absolutely key and fundamental to how we function as humans,” stated Leaf, who added that curiosity helps you move forward, grow, improve your autonomy, and develop a deeper and richer understanding of yourself.

    My personal research findings reveal that nurturing a habit on inquiry will help keep your mind sharp as we age, reducing cognitive decline. I am learning more about neuroscience and how our brains react biologically to curious stimulation. Here is to be cultivating your curiosity each day. It will do your brain well.

    Resources:

    “Chasing Curiosity as We Age.” Adlen Network. Posted October 1, 2024. Retrieved on 2/2/2025 from https://www.alden.com/chasing-curiosity-as-we-age/#:~:text=It%20promotes%20cognitive%20health.,is%20critical%20for%20mental%20health.

    Grazer, Brian and

    Gruber MJ, Ranganath C. “How Curiosity Enhances Hippocampus-Dependent Memory: The Prediction, Appraisal, Curiosity, and Exploration.” (PACE) Framework. Trends Cogn Sci. 2019 Dec;23(12):1014-1025. doi: 10.1016/j.tics.2019.10.003. Epub 2019 Nov 7. PMID: 31706791; PMCID: PMC6891259.

    Kidd, Celeste, and Benjamin Hayden. “The Psychology and Neuroscience of Curiosity” Neuron, Volume 88, Issue 3, 449 – 460. Retrieved on 2/2/2025 from https://www.cell.com/action/showPdf?pii=S0896-6273%2815%2900767-9

    Leaf, Dr. Carol. “Surprising Benefits of Curiosity.” Podcast episode #554. Retrieved on 1/31/2025 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUQKqLFAk4g

    Leaf, Dr. Carol. Retrieved on 1/31/2025 from https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/the-surprising-benefits-of-curiosity

    Reichelt, Amy. “Curiosity Changes the Brain to Boost Memory and Learning.” Posted on October 3, 2014. Retrieved on 2/2/2025 from https://www.unsw.edu.au/newsroom/news/2014/10/curiosity-changes-the-brain-to-boost-memory-and learning#:~:text=The%20curious%20mind%20is%20a%20vortex%20for%20information&text=It%20seems%20that%20in%20the,the%20time%2C%E2%80%9D%20she%20said.

  • Curiosity is an Antidote to Fear

    January 30, 2025

    Curiosity and fear are two different states in our minds, and they impact different parts of our brains.

    As we have evolved as humans, fear has become the internal warning system that is hard-wired to protect ourselves. Fear can trigger the fight or flight response when our brain senses a threat. The amygdala  region of the brain moves into the driver’s seat when a threat is detected. Contrarily, curiosity is driven by our desire to learn, explore and understand our surroundings. The pre-frontal cortex that is in charge of higher-order thinking lights up and kicks into gear when we are involved or curious.

    According to neuroscientists, curiosity and fear are considered opposing mental states. Curiosity is actively seeking information and engagement, while fear pulls us back from potential and perceived threats. Our brain shifts between the regions of the brain that are activated by curiosity or fear.

    “Here’s our powerful opportunity — by cultivating curiosity, we can calm our fears,” wrote Sara Hickman, Change Consultant at the website “Brave in the U.K.”

    Think of fears that you have. Are they spiders, snakes, death, or something else? One of the biggest fears that people have is public speaking. How many of you can relate to that fear? I learned that many would rather be in the coffin than give a eulogy at a funeral.  It is amazing to think that public speaking is more feared than death itself.  Does public speaking frighten you?  What does it feel like when you are fearful? A sense of dread may awash your body.

    Let’s imagine, you are attending a meeting. A co-worker makes an introduction and your name is announced. Now… it is your time to walk onto the stage. Perhaps the palms of your hands begin to sweat, your stomach starts to churn, and a lump in your throat forms, and your heart may begin racing. Fear can be felt in our bodies.  Don’t let your fear take over the wheel. You are still in control. Fear can be insidious, but you are not indefensible against it. The antidote…Curiosity.

    When your curiosity is piqued by an interesting fact or interesting tidbit, your brain enters the “curiosity state.” First, the parts of the brain which are sensitive to uncomfortable or unknown conditions and environments light up. Then the part of the brain responsible for learning and memory, known as the pre-frontal cortex, comes online. Our brains then release the reward chemical dopamine. Dopamine has been found to intrinsically linked to the brain’s curiosity state. When you are curious and learning new facts and exploring the unknown, the brain floods our bodies with dopamine. Dopamine makes us happier.

    Would you rather be excited and energized by curiosity or sick to your stomach with fear? In the simplest terms, curiosity acts in the opposite way of fear. I know what I would choose. Do you?

    It is not that simple. We have train our bodies to start choosing curiosity over fear. It will take time to do so. Curiosity is not just an antidote, it is a mindset.

    Resources:

    Britannica Curiosity Compass. “The Science of Curiosity.” Retrieved on 1/29/2025 from https://curiosity.britannica.com/science-of-curiosity.html

    Discover Your Curiosity Type. https://curiosity.britannica.com/curiosity-personality-quiz

    Hickman, Sara. Director & Principal Consultant. “The Antidote to Fear is Curiosity.” Retrieved on 1/29/2025 from https://wearebrave.co.uk/the-antidote-for-fear-is-curiosity#:~:text=Fear%20and%20curiosity%20are%20like,powerful%20tool%20for%20managing%20fear%E2%80%A6.

    Noice, Cathy. “Curiosity: The Antidote for Fear. November 23, 2014. Retrieved on 1/29/2025 from https://workplacenavigator.com/2014/11/23/curiosity-the-antidote-for-fear/

    clip art courtesy of dreamstime.