Curious and Creative

Tag: self-awareness

  • Embrace You as a Work in Progress

    June 14, 2025

    Do you accept yourself? It is not an easy thing to do. For some of us, it is damn difficult.

    What is self-acceptance? Self-acceptance is the act of acknowledging and embracing both your strengths and weaknesses without judgment, leading to a more positive and fulfilling self-image. It involves recognizing your imperfections and making peace with them, as well as celebrating your unique qualities and accomplishments. 

    Building self-acceptance is a skill, stated Stephanie Lemek. Added, if you cannot practice self-acceptance, you are limiting your ability to be self-aware and grow into the best version of yourself.

    I have learned quite a bit about myself since starting this blog. Through my research , I have gained an education. I am now practicing ways to increase my self-esteem, increase my self-awareness, and build my self-worth. Thanks to taking on this blog nearly six months ago, I have become more confident and revived a love of writing, something that I had ignored. I had to remind myself that writing is one of my strengths.

    However, I admit that full self-acceptance has been a bit more elusive. As I worked to improve in several areas, good nutrition and exercise have not been a priority of mine, and I feel it in my body. I have been in better shape in the past. I have taken better care of my body. My body has changed due to the physical changes brought on by perimenopause and now menopause. My mind and perspective have changed, yet accepting all of me, my body as it is now, is a very big hurdle.

    “Embracing your life means being true to yourself, not living by someone else’s rules or expectations,” wrote author and journalist John-Manuel Andriote. He added, embracing your life means being willing to stand out, to take risks, and to receive disapproval or rejection of your choices.

    The author and podcaster Jay Shetty once said, “The reason we struggle to accept ourselves is because we think that means I must think ‘it’s my fault.’ When it becomes my fault now, I become depressed by that idea. It’s disempowering. It brings me down. Whereas, when you say, ‘Well it’s not my fault, but it is my responsibility.’ That’s empowering. It gives you a sense of choice, and direction, and design.”

    Last week, I wrote about self-talk and the importance of what language that we use to describe ourselves. I admit, I have asked myself, “why did you let yourself go like this?”  My answers would be harsh and mean. I am accepting me as I am now. Instead, I ask in what way am I strong and attractive. Focusing on the positive does not mean ignoring the not so pleasant physical features, yet it is empowering to move forward toward better care of my body. Body shaming is not the answer, as it is disempowering and discouraging.  It’s best to handle one step at a time.

    Stephanie Lemek stated, “this doesn’t mean you won’t change; we all change, of course, and our self-acceptance will flex with those changes. It may be helpful to think of self-acceptance as acceptance of yourself now, as you are an acceptance of who you can become.”

    Author and podcaster Jordan Lee Dooley wrote in her book Own Your Everyday, it is important to focus on who you are and not what you do. She believes that we need to know who we are before we can figure out what as individuals we are meant to do.

    Here are a few ways to start:

    Know yourself.

    • Understand your values, beliefs and personality.
    • Identify what you like and love about yourself.
    • Stop the comparison game. No good really comes from comparing yourself to others, particularly what you see on social media.

    Be True to yourself. Live True to Yourself.

    • How do you want to live your life?
    • Don’t conform or try to fit a mold that does not suit you.
    • Express yourself freely. Speak your mind, act authentically, let yourself shine.
    • Embrace your differences. What is unique about you?

    Love and accept yourself.

    • Take charge of your life. Make choices that align with your values.
    • Show up for yourself. Keep promises to yourself. Be responsible for your own happiness and well-being.
    • Embrace your journey. There will be smooth waters, rough currents, storms, and sunshine.

    According to Bessel van der Kolk, MD., author of The Body Keeps the Score., “Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.”

    Self-awareness is a tool for personal growth and development, wrote van der Kolk.

    “There is freedom in being yourself,” noted Blogger Nike Trimble.

    I used to think that accepting who “I am” meant settling or being stuck in the present. I perceived that meant leaving no room to grow or improve. “I am what I am; I am not changing.”  I was wrong. I have experienced the opposite. Accepting who I am now, I am aware of my strengths, weaknesses, passions, areas for improvement, and areas to experiment. It is a starting point, not an ending one. I am a work in progress.

    Lemek pointed out in her article that there is a misconception of self-acceptance, that once you accept yourself, you don’t have anything to work on or grow. She wrote that it is not true. Self-acceptance is not about achieving perfection. Rather, self-acceptance gives us the power to better understand where we are and work to improve without judgment for not being perfect.

    Brene Brown said, “how much we know ourselves is extremely important but how we treat ourselves is the most important.”

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 6/14/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/young-woman-standing-front-mirror-motivate-confident-you-can-it-vector-illustration_10108732.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=8&uuid=0fa582d6-61bf-44b0-aa87-4a244840ba0b&query=self+acceptance

    Andriote, John-Manuel. “What It Means to Embrace Life and the Path You Choose.” 1/22/2022. Retrieved on 6/11/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stonewall-strong/202201/what-it-means-to-embrace-your-life-and-the-path-you-chose

    Bernock, Danielle. “Why It’s Hard to Embrace Who You Are and What to Do.” Retrieved on 6/11/2025 from https://www.daniellebernock.com/why-its-hard-to-embrace-who-you-are-and-what-to-do/

    Brach, Tara. Radical Self-Acceptance.

    Dooley, Jordan Lee. Own Your Every Day: Overcome the Pressure to Prove and Show Up for What You Were Made to Do. Waterbook, an imprint of Crown Publishing. New York, New York. ©2019.

    Lemek Stephanie. “Self-Acceptance-the Missing Key to Your Personal Health, Growth & Development.” Retrieved on 6/7/2025 from https://medium.com/hlwf-healthcare-healthtech-lifesciences-wellness/self-acceptance-the-missing-key-to-your-personal-growth-development-bbbb19122c5b

    Shetty, Jay. “Self-Acceptance” video short. 8/4/2022. Retrieved on 6/7/2025 from

    Trimble, Nika. “Embracing Who You Are.” 7/30/2021. Medium. Retrieved on 6/11/2025 from https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/embracing-who-you-are-d70d3146e567.

    Van de Kolk, MD, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books. ©2015

  • Are you aware of who you are?

    April 11, 2025

    Sounds like a deep question. In the here and now, we may not be fully aware of what is happening around us or who you really  are.  We are less aware than we think.

    Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, and researcher. She conducted a multi-year study on self-awareness. Eurich concluded that 95 percent of people believe they are self-aware about how they are perceived, but in reality, only 10-15 percent are.

    Eurich stated that a lack of self-awareness is higher among people with more power, the ones whose cluelessness can do more damage. Eurich defined self-awareness as an  understanding of who we are and how we are seen.

    According to Elizabeth Perry, writer/blogger at Betterup.com, there two types of self-awareness: private self-awareness and public self-awareness. Private involves being aware of internal aspects of self, such as thoughts, feelings, and attitude. Public self-awareness is how we perceive ourselves from the perspective of others. Awareness of how we appear and are evaluated by others.

    In contrast, a lack of self-awareness is a failure to recognize one’s own strengths, weaknesses, and motivations, which makes it difficult to understand others and adapt to changing situations. Eurich’s research finds that people with self-awareness are happier and have better relationships. They also experience a sense of personal and social control, as well as higher job satisfaction.

    “Most people believe they’re above average on every socially desirable characteristic,” noted Dr. Eurich, adding, “the least competent people are the most confident about their abilities and performance.”  In contrast, Eurich stated that those individuals who are self-aware are better performers and more promotable at work. They tend to be happier in personal relationships, as well.

    Though self-awareness is important for job performance, career, success, leadership effectiveness, and personal effectiveness, it is lacking in today’s workplace, according to Dr. Eurich.

    You may have a co-worker that, despite past successes and solid qualifications, they may display a lack of insight of how they are perceived. If you are having trouble with someone, ask yourself, what’s behind the tension? If someone is unaware, there is often a consensus about their behavior.

    Here are some other tell-tale signs that a co-worker may lack self-awareness:

    • They cannot “read the room.” They cannot tailor their message to the audience.
    • They cannot empathize with or take a perspective of others.
    • They can be surprised by people’s reactions. They tend to be focused on intent, instead of their action’s impact.
    • They won’t listen or accept critical feedback.
    • They get defensive about feedback. If your feedback to them triggers a more emotional reaction, they likely had no clue what was happening.
    • They overestimate their contributions to the team. They possess an inflated opinion of their performance.
    • They are hurtful to others without realizing it.
    • They take credit for successes, while blaming others for failures.

    When seeking feedback, do not confront, wrote Liane Davey. Rather, ask questions to help you understand how they would like to be perceived by others. Once you understand what the person is working towards, you can provide a perspective that might help them. Set up ground values with your team, and talk about behavioral expectations as a team. There is no guarantee, wrote Davey, to enhance another’s self-awareness, but you can try.

    Remember, said Eurich, the biggest difference between the unaware and the “Aware-Don’t-Care” are their intentions.  The unaware genuinely want to be collaborative and effective, but don’t know they’re falling short. 

    What if you are the one who lacks self-awareness? High self-awareness is a rare skill. It is important, wrote Perry, as it allows leaders to assess their growth, and change course when necessary. When we develop self-awareness, we enhance our decision-making, improve relationships, recognize our emotional triggers, then better able to manage our reactions and regulate our emotions.

    It will take hard work and time to increase and develop self-awareness. Ask “what” questions, like, “What can I do to improve my confidence?”

    “What was I experiencing at the time?”

    “What was happening in the room at the time?”

    Ask others what their perceptions are of you. This may be very difficult, particularly if we have become emotional or underplayed our behavior. Keep a journal, and practice mindfulness and deep breathing.

    One step at a time. I will end this blog post with this quote: “Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”
    ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 4/11/2025 from <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/mental-health-awareness-concept_7974025.htm”>Image by pikisuperstar on Freepik</a>

    California Learning Resource Network (CLRN) “What is a blind spot in psychology?” 11/18/2024. Retrieved on 3/12/2025 from What is a blind spot in psychology? –

    Davey, Lianne. “How to Deal with Someone who is not Self Aware”. 6/4/2023. Retrieved on 4/7/2025 from https://lianedavey.com/how-to-deal-with-someone-who-is-not-self-aware/

    Eurich, Tasha. “Difficult Conversations: Working with People Who Aren’t Self-Aware.” 10/19/2018. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2018/10/working-with-people-who-arent-self-aware

    Perry, Elizabeth. “How to Develop Self-Awareness and Unlock Your Full Potential.” Betterup.com. 2/6/2025. Retrieved on 4/7/2025 from https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-self-awareness

    Talesnik, Dana. “Eurich Explores Why Self-Awareness Matters.” Pillars of Insight. June 28, 2019. Vol. LXXI, no. 13. Retrieved on 4/7/2025 from https://nihrecord.nih.gov/2019/06/28/eurich-explores-why-self-awareness-matters

  • Curiosity Can Deepen Our Understanding of Ourselves

    February 13, 2025

    Did you know that curiosity helps us develop mind management skills that can lead to personal autonomy? The idea of becoming more autonomous is intriguing.

    Mind management skills include critical thinking, a questioning attitude, and ability to explore different perspectives. These skills will ultimately lead to better self-awareness.

    Blogger and Podcaster Avik Chakraborty shared that curiosity and non-judgment are essential elements of awareness. Curiosity is what drives you to learn and explore new things. Non-judgment is what allows you to accept yourself and others without criticism.

    How important is self-awareness? Writer Jonathan Park pointed out that “Without the self-awareness to accurately judge our knowledge and capabilities, we can overestimate our abilities, oversimplify the world we live in, and overlook the skills of others.”

    Park wrote that a lack of self-awareness can lead to overconfidence. When we are overconfident with our skills and fail to adopt curiosity and self-awareness with our learning, we only evaluate ourselves from our limited and highly subjective perspective.

    My research has revealed that curiosity is key in stimulating our learning. This includes learning about us. Curiosity also improves our self-awareness. Curiosity enhances critical thinking because it encourages us to question the status quo. It opens our minds so we can look at a situation from several angles. Curiosity promotes adaptability and flexibility.

    Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf stated that through asking yourself questions, you can gain a sense of your own abilities and learn how you can adapt and change to improve your life. She also noted that when we become more mindful of our own thoughts and emotions, we can become better at understanding our internal processes.

    Curiosity creates an energy and neurochemical flow through the brain that results in an increasingly malleable state in the relevant brain networks wrote Leaf. When in this malleable state, our brain allows you to reorganize, change and expand the memories housed within a thought structure.

    Chakraborty wrote that there are several ways that we increase our awareness: pay attention to our thoughts and feelings throughout our day, and journal about our experiences, thoughts and feelings. Meditate or practice mindfulness. Perhaps talk with a friend or therapist about your experiences.

    Resilience Coach Russell Harvey suggested- that curiosity increases positivity. Being more curious is intricately linked with greater life satisfaction and stronger overall mental wellbeing. Like Dr. Leaf, Harvey said that being curious about us is an effective way to increase our awareness because it encourages us to ask questions and reflect.

    Learn with curiosity, not our egos. If we learn something to become an expert, we can make false assumptions, and could make brash generalizations and misconceptions, wrote Park.

    Leaf wrote that using this method of asking ourselves questions is more effective in reconceptualizing our minds. Through this process, we can distance ourselves from what we are thinking about.

    I invite you to move to a quiet area and take a few moments to ask yourself the following: What thoughts weigh you down? What are your thoughts trying to tell you? Articulate what your thoughts are now. You can write down your answers in a journal or notebook. Become curious about the answers that you give. Reflect on how you answer the questions. Learn a little more about yourself.

    Park also suggested checking your assumptions. Assumptions may be misleading, incomplete or inaccurate.

    I think this is good advice. You may even have assumptions about yourself. I know I have had made assumptions about myself. These were less than helpful. This where asking self-reflective questions can be key.

    Challenge your beliefs and expectations to minimize making assumptions. Take the time to validate your resources. This is where curiosity comes in handy. It helps you find credible and diverse sources of information when learning about a new subject.

    Curiosity can give us a deeper and richer life as we begin to have a better understanding of who we are, our thoughts, and our mental and emotional well-being stated Leaf.

    Lead with curiosity.

    Resources:

    image found on Freepik.com