Curious and Creative

Tag: self-love

  • Embrace You as a Work in Progress

    June 14, 2025

    Do you accept yourself? It is not an easy thing to do. For some of us, it is damn difficult.

    What is self-acceptance? Self-acceptance is the act of acknowledging and embracing both your strengths and weaknesses without judgment, leading to a more positive and fulfilling self-image. It involves recognizing your imperfections and making peace with them, as well as celebrating your unique qualities and accomplishments. 

    Building self-acceptance is a skill, stated Stephanie Lemek. Added, if you cannot practice self-acceptance, you are limiting your ability to be self-aware and grow into the best version of yourself.

    I have learned quite a bit about myself since starting this blog. Through my research , I have gained an education. I am now practicing ways to increase my self-esteem, increase my self-awareness, and build my self-worth. Thanks to taking on this blog nearly six months ago, I have become more confident and revived a love of writing, something that I had ignored. I had to remind myself that writing is one of my strengths.

    However, I admit that full self-acceptance has been a bit more elusive. As I worked to improve in several areas, good nutrition and exercise have not been a priority of mine, and I feel it in my body. I have been in better shape in the past. I have taken better care of my body. My body has changed due to the physical changes brought on by perimenopause and now menopause. My mind and perspective have changed, yet accepting all of me, my body as it is now, is a very big hurdle.

    “Embracing your life means being true to yourself, not living by someone else’s rules or expectations,” wrote author and journalist John-Manuel Andriote. He added, embracing your life means being willing to stand out, to take risks, and to receive disapproval or rejection of your choices.

    The author and podcaster Jay Shetty once said, “The reason we struggle to accept ourselves is because we think that means I must think ‘it’s my fault.’ When it becomes my fault now, I become depressed by that idea. It’s disempowering. It brings me down. Whereas, when you say, ‘Well it’s not my fault, but it is my responsibility.’ That’s empowering. It gives you a sense of choice, and direction, and design.”

    Last week, I wrote about self-talk and the importance of what language that we use to describe ourselves. I admit, I have asked myself, “why did you let yourself go like this?”  My answers would be harsh and mean. I am accepting me as I am now. Instead, I ask in what way am I strong and attractive. Focusing on the positive does not mean ignoring the not so pleasant physical features, yet it is empowering to move forward toward better care of my body. Body shaming is not the answer, as it is disempowering and discouraging.  It’s best to handle one step at a time.

    Stephanie Lemek stated, “this doesn’t mean you won’t change; we all change, of course, and our self-acceptance will flex with those changes. It may be helpful to think of self-acceptance as acceptance of yourself now, as you are an acceptance of who you can become.”

    Author and podcaster Jordan Lee Dooley wrote in her book Own Your Everyday, it is important to focus on who you are and not what you do. She believes that we need to know who we are before we can figure out what as individuals we are meant to do.

    Here are a few ways to start:

    Know yourself.

    • Understand your values, beliefs and personality.
    • Identify what you like and love about yourself.
    • Stop the comparison game. No good really comes from comparing yourself to others, particularly what you see on social media.

    Be True to yourself. Live True to Yourself.

    • How do you want to live your life?
    • Don’t conform or try to fit a mold that does not suit you.
    • Express yourself freely. Speak your mind, act authentically, let yourself shine.
    • Embrace your differences. What is unique about you?

    Love and accept yourself.

    • Take charge of your life. Make choices that align with your values.
    • Show up for yourself. Keep promises to yourself. Be responsible for your own happiness and well-being.
    • Embrace your journey. There will be smooth waters, rough currents, storms, and sunshine.

    According to Bessel van der Kolk, MD., author of The Body Keeps the Score., “Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.”

    Self-awareness is a tool for personal growth and development, wrote van der Kolk.

    “There is freedom in being yourself,” noted Blogger Nike Trimble.

    I used to think that accepting who “I am” meant settling or being stuck in the present. I perceived that meant leaving no room to grow or improve. “I am what I am; I am not changing.”  I was wrong. I have experienced the opposite. Accepting who I am now, I am aware of my strengths, weaknesses, passions, areas for improvement, and areas to experiment. It is a starting point, not an ending one. I am a work in progress.

    Lemek pointed out in her article that there is a misconception of self-acceptance, that once you accept yourself, you don’t have anything to work on or grow. She wrote that it is not true. Self-acceptance is not about achieving perfection. Rather, self-acceptance gives us the power to better understand where we are and work to improve without judgment for not being perfect.

    Brene Brown said, “how much we know ourselves is extremely important but how we treat ourselves is the most important.”

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 6/14/2025 from https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/young-woman-standing-front-mirror-motivate-confident-you-can-it-vector-illustration_10108732.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=8&uuid=0fa582d6-61bf-44b0-aa87-4a244840ba0b&query=self+acceptance

    Andriote, John-Manuel. “What It Means to Embrace Life and the Path You Choose.” 1/22/2022. Retrieved on 6/11/2025 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stonewall-strong/202201/what-it-means-to-embrace-your-life-and-the-path-you-chose

    Bernock, Danielle. “Why It’s Hard to Embrace Who You Are and What to Do.” Retrieved on 6/11/2025 from https://www.daniellebernock.com/why-its-hard-to-embrace-who-you-are-and-what-to-do/

    Brach, Tara. Radical Self-Acceptance.

    Dooley, Jordan Lee. Own Your Every Day: Overcome the Pressure to Prove and Show Up for What You Were Made to Do. Waterbook, an imprint of Crown Publishing. New York, New York. ©2019.

    Lemek Stephanie. “Self-Acceptance-the Missing Key to Your Personal Health, Growth & Development.” Retrieved on 6/7/2025 from https://medium.com/hlwf-healthcare-healthtech-lifesciences-wellness/self-acceptance-the-missing-key-to-your-personal-growth-development-bbbb19122c5b

    Shetty, Jay. “Self-Acceptance” video short. 8/4/2022. Retrieved on 6/7/2025 from

    Trimble, Nika. “Embracing Who You Are.” 7/30/2021. Medium. Retrieved on 6/11/2025 from https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/embracing-who-you-are-d70d3146e567.

    Van de Kolk, MD, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books. ©2015

  • What is Self-worth?

    5/24/2025

    Self-worth often is confused with self-esteem. Though related, self-worth and self-esteem are distinct and different concepts. Self-worth is deeper and more stable. It is a sense of your inherent value as a person.

    As defined by the University of North Carolina-Wilmington’s health wellness website:

    Self-worth is the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others.

    Self-worth is often confused with self-esteem that relies on external factors such as accomplishments, social status, and body image.

    How would you define your own self-worth? What words would you use to describe yourself? What value did you place on yourself or aspects of yourself?

    Humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers emphasized self-worth. He argued that true self value comes from unconditional acceptance of oneself.

    The Resilience Lab states self-worth is a concept that transcends self-confidence or self-esteem. It is the inherent value we place on ourselves, independent of external accolades. At its core, self-worth is an individual comprehensive assessment of a person’s own value. It is an internal compass. Self-love is a close ally of self-worth, and can significantly improve an individual’s self-worth.

    The concurring opinion is self-worth is not influenced by accomplishments, social recognition, or material possessions. It is rooted in self-acceptance and unconditional self-love.

    There are core aspects of self-worth:

    • Self-acceptance: accepting one’s own strengths and weaknesses without judgment. Appreciating unique traits and qualities. People with strong self-acceptance are less likely to be affected by criticism or failure.
    • Self-respect is a belief that one deserves love, kindness, and dignity. They treat themselves with compassion and fairness even when faced with challenges.
    • Resilience is the ability to maintain a positive self-view despite adversity. Resilient individuals with strong self-worth are better equipped to cope with life’s difficulties. They know that setbacks do not diminish their inherent value.

    Perhaps you have low self-worth. One resource pointed out that low self-worth is similar to shame, which is driven by deep beliefs and feelings of being unworthy, bad, or not good enough.

    Low self-worth can manifest in different ways for different people:

    • May avoid challenges in work or school
    • Get upset or distressed by any criticism or disapproval
    • Bend over backwards to please others
    • Be shy or self-conscious
    • Avoid or withdraw from intimacy, vulnerability or social contact
    • Less likely to stand up for self from being abused or neglected

    Dr. Gregory Jantz is an innovator in the treatment of mental health. Jantz pioneered the Whole Person Care over forty years ago. He is a best-selling author of over 45 books and a media authority. He once said that you can’t just tell someone they’re of worth and think they’ll believe you.

    Jantz said he struggled over the years as a psychologist to find ways to help someone feel their true value when they don’t feel it. Those who struggle with low self-worth may not feel their worth yet. However, through self-discovery, opening up to possibility, they can start asking themselves, “What if I really were of worth?” and “What if I could feel that I am valuable and loveable deep down?

    Self-worth emphasizes our intrinsic value. Building self-worth is important, as it requires you to recognize and accept your strengths and limitations. Focus on internal validation, rather than external approval. It is worth to note that low self-esteem can have a negative impact on self-worth.

    According to Thriveworks.com, self-worth precedes self-esteem. Developing self-worth helps with a healthy identity formation. Additionally, the Academic Psychological Association (APA) found a positive association between positive feelings of self-worth and a high degree of self-acceptance and self-esteem. Although there is not conclusive age at which self-worth develops, it begins developing along with awareness and maturity. By the age of five, it is likely a child would have strengthened their sense of self-worth.

    Self-worth is a foundation. If you have a strong sense of self-worth, you are more likely to accept yourself for who you are, flaws and mistakes included. A strong self-worth can be a positive buffer in hard and challenging times. Remember, that core beliefs are often old, deep and can be resistant to change. This can make self-worth issues more difficult to address.

    There are ways you can begin to build your self-worth:

    • Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself when you face setbacks.
    • Develop core values that can guide personal decision-making.
    • Engage in mindfulness. Focus on the present moment. Build your self-awareness.
    • Challenge negative thoughts. If a negative thought pops up, come up with two positive thoughts for every negative one.

    “Self-worth comes from one thing —  thinking that you are worthy.” – Wayne Dyer 

    Resources:

    Image retrieved on 5/16/2025 from <a href=”https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/personal-growth-concept-illustration_29978908.htm”>Image by storyset on Freepik</a>

    Choosingtherapy.com. “Self-worth vs. Self-esteem.” Retrieved on 5/13/2025 from https://www.choosingtherapy.com/self-worth-vs-self-esteem/

    Jantz, Gregory. “Self-worth vs. Self-esteem: Understanding the Key Difference.” The Center: A Place of Hope. Updated on 12/16/2024. Retrieved on 5/16/2025 from https://www.aplaceofhope.com/self-worth-vs-self-esteem-understanding-the-key-differences/

    Resilience Lab. “What is Self-worth & How do we build it?” 3/13/2024. Retrieved on 5/16/2025

    Thriveworks.com “Self-worth v. Self-esteem.” Retrieved on 5/13/2025 from https://thriveworks.com/help-with/self-improvement/self-worth-vs-self-esteem/

    University of North Carolina-Wilmington. Self-Help resources.Self-Worth. Retrieved on 5/16/2025 from https://uncw.edu/seahawk-life/health-wellness/counseling/self-help-resources/self-worth