9/23/2026

(Building Mental Fortitude: Part 3 Kindness)

Are you looking to build mental strength and courage? Practicing small acts of kindness helps, according to WellfleetCircle.com writer Melanie Vetter, who added that small acts of kindness help us practice love, generosity, and compassion, and they also function as a positive feedback loop helping us grow caring and inner strength.

What is kindness? According to the Cambridge Dictionary, kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous, helpful, and considerate toward others, often without expecting anything in return.

Kindness builds mental strength by rewiring brain chemistry, reducing stress and fostering emotional resilience needed to manage life’s challenges. According to research, helping others helps us shift our perspectives, this then distracts our minds from personal worries, breaking cycles of anxiety or negative self-focus.

In a concurring perspective from Caminar.org, in a world where stress and anxiety are increasingly common, one simple yet powerful antidote stands out: kindness. Far from being just a moral virtue, kindness has measurable benefits for mental health and overall well-being.

Science has found that kindness is anything but simple, according to The Kind People Project. Kindness has complex effects on the body, mind, and even social connections. It is powerful and scientific research shows it has deep, lasting impacts on those who receive it and on those who give it.

From my personal experience, being kind lifts my spirits. It feels good when I choose kindness over grumpiness. I grew up with those around me modeling kindness. My paternal grandmother demonstrated kindness every day. Throughout my life, I have gravitated towards people who are kind as well. I worked hard to model kindness to my sons and others. The one area that I stumble about is being more kind to myself. I am working on being kinder to myself.

One of the things that I enjoy doing is making flower arrangements and giving them away. I put my heart and creativity into making flower arrangements. I have given them to friends, family, and co-workers. I have stopped at senior centers and nursing homes. I love seeing the happiness and joy show on the faces who received the surprise gifts.

Ken Druck, Ph.D. author, and speaker said “We all have bad days. It is natural to feel grumpy, stressed, or overwhelmed at times. But even on such days we have the power to choose how we treat ourselves and others. We can decide to air out our grumpiness in constructive ways and show kindness.”

Remember, each of us has the capacity to show up kindly and have an influence in the world of another, wrote Robyne Hanley-Dafoe, Ph.D. author, and speaker.

Kindness builds fortitude by creating emotional resilience, fostering strong social support systems, and transforming how we respond to adversity. Kindness has shown to be a psychological catalyst that strengthens our mental toughness.

As I noted last week in my blog about self-compassion, kindness cultivates self-compassion. This prevents burnout. Extending kindness to oneself allows for recovery rather than harsh criticism after a failure or challenge. Kindness also promotes perseverance. When we are kind to ourselves, we learn to treat mistakes with more understanding rather than shame.

According to the blog Inspire Kindness, kindness is more than being nice. Kindness is intentional, voluntary acts and it is done either when it is easy or when it is difficult or challenging. The meaning of kindness is in how you choose to show it: be it through empathy, acceptance, kind gestures, and thoughtfulness.

According to Hanleye-Dafoe, Ed.D., showing kindness for others benefits both parties.

“Kindness begins with understanding that we all struggle,” wrote Dr. Charles F. Glassman.

When we have the courage to help another person, we encourage each other. When we put all those small acts of kindness together, it has a cumulative effect that can become big.

Blogger Donna Cameron wrote “Kindness asks more of me. It asks me to withhold judgment, to genuinely care about the other person and whether they are getting what they need from our interaction. Kindness forges connections.”

According to research conducted by the Mental Health Foundation in the United Kingdom, kindness is antidote to loneliness or isolation. It can create a sense of belonging.

Kindness is an action verb commented Cameron. There is a generosity of spirit in kindness that absent when we settle for nice. Kindness is an opportunity to extend yourself. How can you extend yourself? Can you smile, give a warm greeting, ask another how their day is going.

Kindness matters wrote Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe. Kindness boosts life satisfaction, physical and mental well-being.

Kindness offers many benefits:

Makes the world a better place.

It builds resilience. Research has found that kind people put themselves out there more often. Although it also puts them at a higher risk of getting hurt; in the long run, they end up smarter, wiser, and stronger.

When we show up for others kindly, the benefits go both ways. Harvard Research shows that kindness fosters social bonds and engagement with life, both of which are critical for mental resilience.

Improves happiness of the helper. According to a survey by UK’s Mental Health Foundation, 63 percent of adults reported improved mental health when kindness was shown to them, the same percentage reported benefits from being kind to others.

Doing good is good for you. Endorphins, the body’s natural body painkiller, can be released giving us the feeling of a “helper’s high.”

Eighty-nine percent of Americans say showing kindness makes them feel better, 90 percent feel better when receiving kindness.

Kindness is good for our hearts because warm feelings generate oxytocin which reduces our blood pressure and the stress hormone cortisol.

Kindness towards us can boost self-esteem and create feelings of optimism.

Extends our lifespan, including increasing our energy.

Increased feelings of community, empathy, compassion, and gratitude.

Kindness is contagious.

“We all need kindness and we all can be kinder. Even small acts of kindness can change the world and our own mental health,” wrote Christina Pay, Extension Assistant Professor, Utah State University.

Acts of kindness do not have to be big gestures. What is one small act of kindness you can do for someone else? What is one small act of kindness can you do for yourself?

If you are looking for ideas for creating acts of kindness, check out these two websites:

• Random Acts of Kindness https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/
• Kindness Health Facts:  https://www.dartmouth.edu/wellness/emotional/rakhealthfacts.pdf

“No act of kindness-however small-is ever wasted.”-Aesop, Greek storyteller.

Resources:

Image by lesyaskripak on Magnific. Image retrieved on 9/23/2026 from https://www.magnific.com/free-vector/be-kind-lettering_18737649.htm

Cameron, Donna. “Don’t Settle for Nice.” 1/17/2023. Retrieved on 9/22/2026 from https://ayearoflivingkindly.com/2023/01/17/dont-settle-for-nice-2/

Druck, Ph.D., Ken. “Spreading Kindness Is a Choice that Takes Strength.” 8/26/2024. Retrieved on 9/19/2026 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-we-go-on/202408/spreading-kindness-is-a-choice-that-takes-strength

Caminar.Org. “The Science of Kindness and Mental Well-Being: Kindness Isn’t Just Good for Others; It’s Good for You.” Retrieved on 9/19/2026 from https://www.caminar.org/news/the-science-of-kindness-mental-well-being

Glassman, M.D., Charles F. Brain Drain-The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life: Simple Steps for Lifelong Success. RTS Publishing. ©January 2009.

Hanley-Dafoe, Ed.D., Robyne. “Why Kindness Matters.” 3/8/2023. Retrieved on 9/19/2026 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyday-resilience/202303/the-remarkable-power-of-kindness-and-why-it-matters

Inspire Kindness.com. Blog. “Kindness 101: What is Kindness and How do You Teach It.” Retrieved on 9/22/2026 from https://inspirekindness.com/blog/kindness-101

Mental Health Foundation. “Kindness.” Retrieved on 9/22/2026 from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/kindness

Optum.com. “How Kindness Lowers Stress: Mental Health Benefits of Being Nice to Others.” Retrieved on 9/19/2026 from https://www.optum.com/en/health-articles.html/healthy-mind/why-random-acts-kindness-help-your-health

Pay, Christina. “Improve Mental Health with Acts of Kindness.” 2/16/2021. Retrieved on 9/19/2026 from https://extension.usu.edu/mentalhealth/articles/improve-mental-health-with-acts-of-kindness

Sarma, James Michael. “7 Reasons the Kindest People Are Actually the Strongest.” Retrieved on 9/19/2026 from https://medium.com/swlh/7-reasons-why-the-kindest-people-are-actually-the-strongest-6a95f3520c4

The Be Kind People Project.” The Science of Kindness. How Acts of Goodness Impact Our Bodies and Minds.” 11/13/2024. Retrieved on 9/19/2026 from https://thebekindpeopleproject.org/blog/2024/11/13/the-science-of-kindness/

Vetter, Melanie. “How to Build Courage Through Small Acts of Kindness.” 6/10/2020. Retrieved on 9/19/2026 from https://wellfleetcircle.com/how-to-build-courage-through-small-acts-of-kindness/